What I Want to be when I Grow Up.

Hello there, fellow Blog-lovers. 

I just read a really awesome story over here that basically says that we should love what we do so much that when we don't have to think about anything, it is what we think about. 

Well... that got me to thinking. As a lot of you may or may not know, I'm done with college. I graduated with bachelor's degrees in German and Economics. Throughout college, I bounced around a lot, [officially] changed my major at least five times, and, consequently, changed what I wanted to be when I "grew up" at least that many times. 
All of a sudden, about a month ago, it dawned on me. I want to teach high school. When that idea first popped into my head, I may or may not have checked my forehead to make sure I wasn't completely delirious and running a temperature of 105. I mean, who would willingly dive into the pool of psychotic, hormonal teenagers in the feeble attempts to teach them to love learning and knowledge? Umm, apparently me

This experience has not been what I expected, and I've been kind of disappointed with they way it has gone, but the moral of the story is this: Even with how much this has not been the best experience of my life, I have learned a few things.

1. I want to teach English to a bunch of psychotic, hormonal teenagers. I want to discuss literature, I want to teach kids how to write essays, I want to teach them the importance of paragraphs and commas. It's what I want to do. Will I be a millionaire? No. Will I have days where I want to punch 17-year-olds in the face? Most likely. Those things don't really matter to me when I ask myself another question, though. Will I change or impact someone's life for the better? I sure hope so. 

2. Being poor sucks. I have learned that we can not only survive, but live off of $1050 a month, with our rent, electric, tithing, and internet bills accounting for $900 of that. We can live off of $150 a month. I never thought that was possible, but I've been proven wrong. Do I ever want to be in this situation again. No. Not in a million years. Have I learned from it? You betcha. 

3. My moods are deeply impacted by the weather and having friends. Guys, I've been in pretty much a deep depression since, oh... November. I've had breakdowns at least once a week, and I have lost all motivation to do anything. It's really hard for me to put out there, but there you have it. Anyone who knows me in real life would be shocked to know that I don't even want to exercise (that's one of my all-time favorite things to do... yeah, it's okay, you can call a sadist, or crazy, or whatever - I won't blame you). I think this depression has been spurred on by the craphole that is Europe when it comes to winter weather (6 days with sunshine since November), but it's also because I don't really have any accessible friends.

4. Being poor, in a foreign country, and in a tiny town really bring you closer to your spouse. I've spent more time with Michael in the past 6 months than I got to spend with him the entire first year of our marriage (I was in 18 hours both semesters, he worked as a traveling salesman). 

5. I wouldn't trade this experience for anything. It has posed new challenges. I have seen myself deal with a problem that I never dreamed of having. I have learned the value of a dollar (or a euro, I guess). 
I have FINALLY decided what I want to be when I "grow up." 

Basically, I guess I'm saying that we should be happy, whatever we choose to be when we "grow up." And if you're worried that your career choice might disappoint someone... Think about this: 
I know people might disagree with that, but when you're choosing your career, you want to be happy, or else you'll be miserable. If you're miserable, it's really hard for anyone around you not to be. 


Jamie said...

I love the honesty in this post.

chris elisabeth said...

Sorry about the grey cold seasonal funk; know that, have been there 23 long years.. One if the reasons I LOVE Nebraska.. As to your choice of profession, grin, again, I know it from experience: it isn't a choice! It's a liberating discovery that this is YOU! Has been you all along:) And yes, congratulations !!! And maybe teaching some students some German, too?!;D

Keri said...

I love the way you freely share your inner being with us. :) And those things you're learning are life-changing! You're right to see the blessing in them.

Siri Natalia said...

My dad is a high school English teacher! Right on! :)

Breenah said...

I really liked this post. Sometimes it's important to step back from your usual funny and write something real. I'd be totally stoked if Quinn ever had someone like you as a teacher.

Meg {henninglove} said...

i would totally be affected by the weather and the lack of social circles. but you have found positives for sure, spending more time with your husband is the best and that is awesome you still tithe and everything God what is His, even though it means not as much for yourself, ultimately though a relationship with Christ means nothing about us and everything about Him.

B said...

I could tell this post was straight from the heart. I like when you do these posts. You're human and you feel. Your allowed to feel!

I was also a major hopper. I went from business to many others when I finally settled on communications. I love to blab (duh) and I love to write. How will this translate into a career? Beats me. Congrats on finish college by the way. :-)

Being poor does suck. I remember logging into my bank account once and seeing 5 dollars. I must've cried my eyeballs out on that one. Being comfortable monitarily and emotionally is so important. But believe it or not, you CAN survive in very little. Crazy, right?

My moods are also affected by the weather. Majorly so. See my post from a few weeks ago.

Everything you experience should bring you closer to your spouse. :-)

LOVE YOU, FRAND. Thank you for your honesty. <3

Alana Christine said...

Such a good point!
What Happens In Vegas comes to mind
"I'd rather be happy doing nothing than be miserable doing something I hate."

Jenny-O said...

How wonderful!!! 1) I really hope that I've at least helped a little in #3! I know exactly what you are going through and I really hope to see you in March, definitely for sure!!!
Also, what you say about wanting to teach to hormonal teenagers- YES! I thought I was the only one... call me crazy, but I teach students from 3-13... and my favorite grades are actually 7&8. Ok, I know that it's usually middle school at that point, but needless to say, I find that most people hate them because they are "little shits" (to put it bluntly), but they are my favorites. They are hilarious, always have dumb crap to say, make me laugh, and full of funny energy! :)
I, too, have been disappointed by this "thing" but I defintely enjoy my time with my kids!

Stesha said...

loving the last quote! it is absolutely so true! I think we often worry about others vision of us instead of our own. Thanks for the post today!!


Casey said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Casey said...

Hey, you're the one living your life so live it how you want!

P.S. Might I suggest moving to Arizona?? We have a bazillion and one days of sun a year!

Sal Zailani said...

oh gosh how i agree! i moved here 3 years to be with a boy whom i barely knew, yes this is my bf. we met when he was on 4 day holiday back in Brunei and stayed in contact through facebook, emails etc. WHen i first got here I was depressed for a year mainly becaue I didnt have any friends, had no job and the weather is rubbish! But three years on I have learned to overcome it. Its a long story but I totally understand what you're going through. Thanks for dropping by and leaving a lovely comment :) xx

gapoole said...

Way to see the blessings of a difficult situation. Bonus bonus for using it to make an amazing life decision/mission. I am - S U P E R - jealous btw, still no idea what I want to do...

Kassi Mortensen said...

You said it!!! You should definitely do something that makes you happy regardless of anything else. Except right now we're in a place where we may be working toward that things that will make us happy, but until then... it kinda sucks. You live you learn right.

Dearest Lou said...

That quote is so freaking true! I didn't know you graduated in economics ugh all my econ teachers were foreign and it was so difficult to understand the subject yet alone their teaching methods :P

btw I find it so awesome how you alwaysalwaysalways without fail do things in lists of 5!

Dearest Lou said...

That quote is so freaking true! I didn't know you graduated in economics ugh all my econ teachers were foreign and it was so difficult to understand the subject yet alone their teaching methods :P

btw I find it so awesome how you alwaysalwaysalways without fail do things in lists of 5!

E :-) said...

That is a quote I need pounded in my head over and over again. Not just with a career, but life in general. I'm having the hardest time with trying to make everyone happy with my choices...it just not possible. Thanks for reminding me again!

Pop! of Style said...

I share your desire to punch kids in the face when you're teaching, but it's completely normal! haha! I'm studying to be an English teacher myself and it gets tough sometimes- but it's important to remember the impact you are having on these children. Wonderful post :)

Maria said...

I love this so much! I've been bouncing around from looking at potential grad schools to just giving up and moving to New York after I graduate. Let's face it, I have two more years to figure out if I even want to continue schooling! I'm sure everything will come to me in time!

stephanie said...

love this post! it's so important to do what makes YOU happy! ; )

Natalia Lynn said...

Alyx! This post made me want to give you a big hug and tell you about my own experiences with feeling depressed. I loved this post. It is SO ok to be honest about the hard things, but your outlook is so inspiring. LOVING YOU! - christie

Natasha Louise said...

LOVE that quote it's so true, I'm glad you know now what you want to do Alyx, I'm sure you make an awesome teacher!

Alex Butts said...

Ah just patiently awaiting this Ah-Ha moment. Since au pair isn't a career path, I guess I'll have to wait until I dive into a job. WHY ISNT AU PAIR A CAREER PATH!?

fast Frühling!

Mr. Taylor and his Lady said...

this post was just too perfect!! and yes, we must always choose happiness for ourselves!
xo TJ

Sara Louise said...

Alyx! Your posts are kicking some serious petunia lately! I'm loving your honesty and your wit and your wisdom. Your my guru for the week :)

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