Bloody Eggs, Avon, & German Nosey-Pants. Oh, and Our Distorted Perception of Beauty.


Let me tell you something about German eggs. They come in packages of ten (never 12), they sometimes come with feathers or dirt on them, and apparently they are sometimes disgusting and bloody. I am not okay with this. I don't think I'll be eating eggs for a few days. 

I ordered some new stuff for my Gesicht ("face" in German). The wonderful and totally awesome Ali sells Avon, and I thought I'd give it a go. Maybe you remember my 99 cent German moisturizer mishap, maybe you don't. Basically, it made my forehead look like a pepperoni pizza for about a month. So... I ordered some new mild face wash to remove makeup and some moisturizer (that hopefully doesn't make your dog mistake me for his dinner). 

German mail people are nosey-pants. I got my package with the Avon stuff in the mail today. It had been torn open and repackaged... in a plastic bag. At least it was all still there. No, German mail man, I am not smuggling drugs, thank you very much. 

I have had the laziest week ever. I never work on Mondays, we had Tuesday off, I worked today, I have tomorrow off, and I work Friday. That's two days and approximately 5 hours of work, people. Go me. 

Yesterday I was messing around with Photoshop, and thought I should enlighten you all. I am by no means an expert photo-shopper. I can, however, see that our society's visions of what is beautiful have been greatly influenced by the media - a media which relies VERY heavily on Photoshop. Let me show you a picture of Kiera Knightley (I think she has the most gorgeous face in the entire world, whether or not it's been photoshopped):
Okay, do you think she ACTUALLY looks like that? Heck nah. Don't believe that half of her beauty comes from Photoshop? Let me show you a real life example: 
Yes, that is me. Photoshopped. This is what magazines do, people. I didn't even change my facial structure or make myself lose weight (which they also do). THIS IS RIDICULOUS. And we wonder why 10-year-olds are suffering from eating disorders and have major self-esteem issues. 

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Michelle said...

The egg thing makes me want to throw up. AHH

Anonymous said...

That is so, so, so gross. If I could, I'd package you up some clean, definitely NOT bloody eggs and mail them to you. I have never once had a bloody egg. What the heck do they do to their chickens? Sheesh.

The Photoshop thing? Wow. It is ridiculous that people think celebrities actually look like that in real life. No one's face is that perfect! No one!!!

Keri said...

You know what's more gross than the bloody egg? The fact that what you're saying about our media and photoshop and 10 year olds is absolutely TRUE and VALID. It's infuriating!!! I have vowed to do everything I can to help my girls NOT adopt this mindset. (unlike me...I struggle every day to break free)

Anonymous said...

Disgusting. The egg I mean. And I love Ali! :) I've been meaning to order from her too... Thanks for the reminder!
Dude... looks like you're pretty good with Photoshop from where I'm sitting... Can you do that to me? ;)

B said...

Ugh. I don't know what's more gross. That egg or the photoshop thing.

Kids need to be taught not to conform to magazine covers and the general imagination of the hollywood media.

P.S. The Kardashians make me sick.

jessica said...

Is this how all eggs are in Germany, LOL? I don't know what i'll do once I get there- I LOVE eggs!!! And amen to the photoshop thing. It is truly disturbing and so sad! I worry for my unborn children. How are women suppose to compete with absolute rubbish?

Alana Christine said...

DISGUSTING!!! hahahaha

Also, thanks for the reminder that real life is NOT photoshopped. It's so easy to forget sometimes...

Kndbbdjk said...

Thanks for reminding us that we are real women. :) And good luck with your nosey mail man!

Amy Harris said...

oh hell i would die if i opened my egg and it had blood. haha some things i just can't handle. and that is why i will never be a cook.

Vapid Vixen said...

I think I see beak!

Maria Larsen said...

Oh god. Now I don't even want to eat American eggs for a very long time..

Niken said...

you're right. the egg looks gross!!!

stephanie said...

ok the egg thing, makes me want to hurl.
the magazine thing. TRUTH! i hate reading those sometimes because everything about them are pretty much lies and make us feel terrible about ourselves!

you are beautiful photoshop or not!!

Dearest Lou said...

Gross! -The bloody egg thing that is-

I love the second half of this post and I love how you added a picture of yourself to prove the point!

Lacy in the Sky with Diapers said...

Yummy eggs... poor dear, oh and I like your skin before the photoshop... it looks like a real human... :) Sure love ya

Unknown said...

Those eggs looks delicious........NOT. Stupid Germany! I didn't put ANYTHING in those creams I swear! Hahahahaha ;) Thanks for doing the PhotoShop thing! I'm only just NOW starting to be ok with how I look and that helps put things into perspective ;)

Abby said...

Oh man, in home ec in middle school, I cracked an egg and it was bloody. My young, 13 year old mind was so not ready for that. Luckily, I can still eat eggs, however, I now inspect each egg that I crack. It'll forever change you!


Andy said...

i was SERIOUSLY eating eggs when i read this. yummmm. not.

Kylie said...

Gross. To the eggs and the fact that so many women in the media are photoshopped. I watched a video on it once and it is seriously sad how much they alter.

Sara Louise said...

Holy crapola! That photo of you is craaazy! And that egg??!! BLAGH. Not that I'm going to be buying eggs for awhile but, what is with the 10?? And the feathers, the feathers gross me out! Do your chicken legs come with some feathers on them too? Ours in France do and it's freaking gross.

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