Reh-roh!! That's me greeting you like Scooby Doo would if he was on my blog today. I thought it was only appropriate, because today I'm going to talk about dogs.
NO! Don't run away yet. There's a story behind this random blog topic. And I know, I know... I need to stop posting twice in the same day.
So. The other day, I was talking to my mom on Skype, and she was telling me a story about these little rascals.
My parents' backyard is fenced in, so naturally they let the dogs out back to run and play. One day (I think it was sometime last week), however, my mom heard Milo (he's the bigger dog) whining and barking. She went outside to find Milo next to a huge hole whining. Sparky (the smaller dog) was nowhere to be found.
Apparently this was not the first time that this has happened, and that is what has prompted me to talk about a very serious topic:
Doggy Conspiracy Theories.
I promise you, dogs can talk to each other. I mean, really. I am absolutely convinced that Sparky somehow coerces Milo into digging holes for him so that he can escape the backyard. Now, I'm not sure what he promises Milo in return, but it's gotta be something good, because Milo digs the stupid hole for him time and time again, even though Sparky always leaves him behind and goes off on his own adventures. Maybe he promises Milo more treats, maybe he lets him eat more dog food, maybe he lets him play with his favorite tennis ball. I honestly don't know, but dude is a little doggy manipulator. Just look at him!
look how guilty he is- just plotting away...
Anyway. If dogs like Sparky can plan their escape from backyard prison, what else can they plan? Whatelseare theyplanningwhilewe'renotlooking? I don't think dogs are as evil as cats, though. Which brings me to another even more important topic:
Cat Conspiracy Theories.
I don't really have any stories about my cat plotting our demise (except for mentioning the 5938472937 times he escaped our apartment, or the time he shredded an entire package of paper towels, or how he knows how to pee in the litter box but somehow always manages to stick his butt over the edge so I have to wipe his poop off the floor [thank goodness for hooded litter boxes], or how he turns on our radio at 4:00 in the morning, or how he won't drink water unless it's fresh, or how he always jumps in the shower, or how he opens bags of cheetos).
He just wants you to think he's innocent...
I've never been a cat person (until Hubby came home and gave me our little bundle of joy one night), but our cat has opposable thumbs, so he's obviously superior. Anyway, I'm pretty sure cats are evil creatures who are planning to take over the world someday. Since my cat thinks he's a dog (he drinks out of the toilet and everything), he won't be part of this plot. Anyone ever seen this picture, though? It's true. Watch your backs, people, because your pets (cats specifically) are out to get you.