How do YOU do it?!

Hello hello! 

It's Thursday. Duh, you know this. Or maybe you didn't, in which case - you're welcome. The first thought that comes to my mind is, thank goodness tomorrow is Friday and this week will be over. 

I've been kind of (okay, REALLY) bad at blogging this week, mostly because I have so many ideas, so many things I want to talk about, but I just haven't had the desire. I have had the desire instead to lay in bed and never leave. I'm not depressed, no - I'm stressed. 

Stressed to the flipping max. There's a lot going on, most of which I feel would be inappropriate to mention in a public forum such as this blog, but let's just say that life has been chasing me for a while, this week I finally got exhausted, and let it catch up to me, where it proceeded to attempt to swallow me whole (which - RUDE, life! What are you, some sort of crazy man-eating python?). In light of recent events, my diet has been less-than-stellar (I forget to eat one day, then overcompensate the next), my sleep has been poor, and my back is so knotty it probably resembles a 500-year-old tree.

I deal with low levels of stress or anger through exercise. However, when things get this stressful, it is difficult for me to not just shut down completely and wallow in a state of constant worry. So... my question to you is this:

HOW DO YOU DEAL WITH MASSIVE AMOUNTS OF STRESS?! Seriously. Any and all advice is appreciated.

Also... thank you thank you for all of your support of Elsie and I! Elsie didn't win, but I did, so that's awesome! Maybe I can convince them that Elsie's cute enough to be a brand rep regardless of the fact that she didn't get the popular vote? We'll see.

Random.

I feel this overwhelming urge to write, but the problem is... nothing comes to mind. So... I guess this post is just going to be a jumble of the thoughts that are currently rolling around in my head.

- This past week, two people from my graduating class have died. One was murdered (he was in the wrong place at the wrong time - sad story, really) and one was killed in an ATV accident. I wasn't particularly close with either of them, but it still hit close to home. These guys were 25 - far too young, in my opinion. One had just gotten married last August. It's such a sad story, and what's even worse is that these are not the only people from my class who have died.

- I'm really, really thirsty.

- I don't want to go back to school in the fall and I don't think I'm going to. Don't get me wrong, I love teaching more than anything. HOWEVER, the program I'm currently in is a dual major master's program, with master's degrees in German and Education. I am not a fan of taking a bunch of German lit classes and writing 60 pages for said classes (auf deutsch, natürlich). I'd much rather stay home with Elsie and focus on photography, which has become a real passion. I'd still like to get my teaching certificate, but I've decided that (right now) the master's programs just aren't for me. I thought I belonged in the world of academia, but it turns out... I don't. Not at this point in my life, anyway.

- On that note, it is so much more refreshing to do things because I want to, not because someone else is telling me to. Life is way too short to be living to please other people.

- I feel like this post needs a picture, but I don't have one and I'm too lazy to look for one.

Sometimes I Wish I was a Polar Bear

Happy Tuesday! Long time, no see. Sorry I've been completely absent from everything. I haven't read blogs in who knows how long, and I really miss you guys! Maybe I'll get the chance to do some catching up over Thanksgiving break - we'll see!

I will have a 6 month update on little Elsie-bear, but her well child check-up isn't until this afternoon, so I don't have her stats yet. I also don't have her pictures done because, well.... I've been lazy pants.

Anyway.... back to the title of this post. My office mates were sitting here watching a polar bear video a few minutes ago, and I thought to myself, "How flipping awesome would it be to be a freakin' polar bear?!" 

Answer: really flipping awesome. 

1. I could drink all the coke I wanted, and I'd get it for free in exchange for the occasional commercial appearance. 

2. I would not be freezing my butt off when it's 0 degrees out. In fact, I might even like the cold weather.

3. I could have a pet penguin. Sure, the penguin would be terrified of me and try to run away every chance he got, but that's not important.

4. I would be cute and cuddly, but absolutely terrifying at the same time. Not even Bigfoot can accomplish this, you guys.

5. I could stay underwater for up to 9 minutes at a time. Think of how awesome that would be!! I mean, really.  

And.... that's all I've got for you on this chilly Tuesday morning. Drink some hot cocoa for me!

I Stole This Idea

Hiii guys!! 

So first things first... I have to tell you that I stole this post idea from Jennie. I just saw her post and was like, "HEY! I want to write up a list of a bunch of stupid little things that irritate me, too!!"

1. People chewing with their mouth open. 

1a. People chewing so loudly that I can hear them. Some people do this even if their mouth is closed. It bugs the crap out of me.

2. Finding clothes/socks on the floor RIGHT NEXT TO THE HAMPER. Okay, I have started to come to terms with the fact that my husband will leave his socks in the office, the kitchen, the living room, pretty much wherever he takes them off. But Michael (since I know you're reading), FOR PETE'S SAKE, when you take your socks off in the bedroom or bathroom, instead of putting them down a foot away from the laundry hamper, PUT THEM IN IT!!!

3. Men that leave the toilet seat up. My husband never leaves the seat up. Ever. I don't know how I got so lucky, but I did. I believe that all men should follow my husband's lead.

4. The fact that yellow starburst and skittles even exist. 

5. When I pick the shorter line at Wal-Mart and it ends up taking longer because of the idiocy of either cashier or customer. 

6. Wal-Mart in general.

7. Humidity. A couple days ago we had 54% humidity, and IT DIDN'T EVEN RAIN!!!

8. Carrots. I've tried to like them, really... but these stupid little veggies will be the bane of my existence. I like them in pot roast and that's about it.

9. People who do not clean up after their pets. 

10. People who litter. On a bad day, I once honked at someone to get their attention, then proceeded to yell at them and flip them off because they threw a bag of trash out their window. Am I embarrassed by my behavior? Yes, but holy cow, people who litter make me SO MAD.

Phew, now that that's over.... what are some things that irritate you? Spill it. 

The Funniest Pair You Ever Saw

Happy Wednesday!!

I don't know how I could possibly think that blogging with a newborn would be easy, but I did. And I was mistaken.

What were you thinking, Mom?!

You know what else isn't easy? Trips to Target with said newborn and a mother-in-law who is also recovering from surgery. I don't know what prompted Mike and Duane (father-in-law) to let us venture out on our own, but if they could have seen us, I'm sure they would have gotten a good laugh!

Some background information: I'm not allowed to drive until Friday (no driving for two weeks after c-section). I'm also not allowed to lift more than ten lbs., and I'm definitely not allowed to lift Elsie while she's in her car seat.

My mother-in-law broke her leg a few weeks ago and had to undergo some major surgery on her knee. She is currently sporting a brace and crutches. Luckily, she can drive and her arms are fully functional.

see the brace? 

Our plan: We hop into the truck and drive to the store. I get out of the truck, walk (slowly, very slowly) to the cart pickup, grab a cart, and push it (slowly, very slowly) back to the truck, where Becky will be waiting to transfer Elsie's car seat from the truck to the cart. Once she's in the cart, we're golden and will have no trouble whatsoever navigating the aisles of the store.

What actually happened: I spend 5 minutes struggling to climb into the truck (it's a big tall raptor something or other... and if it's tall for me, then you know it's a huge truck). I finally figure out that if I kneel on the step, I can use my arms to pull myself onto the seat. Meanwhile, Becky is sitting in the driver's seat laughing her butt off (there's just something funny about watching someone struggle to get into a car).

the only picture I have of the truck

Once I'm in the vehicle, we get ready to head to the store. We make it to Target without too much trouble and I'm able to slide out of the truck onto the ground. I hobble over to the cart return and grab the first cart I see. I take it back to the side of the truck so that Becky can pull Elsie's car seat out and put it on the cart.

Word to the wise: carts don't have brakes. I turn around for a second to help Becky unlatch the seat and suddenly I hear her shouting, "THE CART, THE CART!! IT'S RUNNING AWAY!!" Of course she can't get it - she only has one working leg. I turn around to see the cart headed straight for a van three spots away. I "run" after the thing and barely catch it before it t-bones the car (of course the owner is sitting in said vehicle, watching this all go down) and breathe a sigh of relief while Becky is standing there on one leg holding the car seat.

We finally get the seat into the cart and head into the store, me leading the way. I get to the store entrance and try to push the cart in, but I can't get it over the metal bump. I push and push, but it just won't budge! I have to call Becky over to help me get into the store. Once we realize how ridiculous we look, we just about fall over from laughing so hard. The whole time we're laughing, I'm practically crying, "Don't make me laugh, don't make me laugh!! It HURTS!!" Because folks, when you have a c-section, there are a few things that really hurt - coughing, sneezing, and... you guessed it - laughing.

Once we get into the store, Becky spends about five minutes trying to figure out why the motorized scooter won't work (eventually a couple of associates come over and help us get the thing going). We proceed to the baby section where it all just goes downhill. Basically, to make a long story short, we run into a lot of clothing racks, knock quite a few things off of the racks (and neither one of us can really bend over to pick them up... even though we try), make a lot of noise attempting to maneuver the cart and motorized scooter, and spend forty-five minutes doing what should have taken ten.

Eventually we make it out of the store and back home, but not without having a good laugh at our peculiar situation.

I'm sure this story is nowhere near as funny to anyone else as it was to us while it was happening, but that's okay. This was Elsie's first outing (don't worry, she was covered with the car seat canopy the entire time so that she didn't catch the plague), and I'm glad it was so memorable.

Moral of the story: Don't send two gimps and a baby to the store - they'll likely cause a scene. 

Said by No One, EVER.

Yep, I'm still pregnant. 

As I sit here listening to my "embarrassing favorites" station on iHeart Radio (great station - highly recommended, btw), I have come across a serious problem - skip limits. Here I am, jamming out to favorites like this:
and this:
and then what pops up? This:
I try to give it a "thumbs down" and I get a message saying, "Sorry, you've reached your skip limit for this station." ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!?! Because of this dreadful occurrence, I have compiled a list of Things that were said by no one. EVER. 

1. What? I reached my skip limit on iHeart Radio? And the song is Photograph by Nickelback? That's okay, I LOVE Nickelback! -- No one. EVER.

2. What's this? Another invite to Candycrush saga on Facebook?! AWESOME!!! --No one. EVER.

3. That guy who played Steve on Blue's Clues was so. hot. --No one. EVER.

4. Tell me more about your love life and one night stands, girl on [insert means of public transportation here] screaming into your phone. --No one. EVER.

5. I'm so glad a thunderstorm decided to roll in on the first day I took the time to straighten my hair and put on makeup in over a month! -- No one. EVER.

And now for some of my favorite "No one. EVER." quotes... 

via

via

via

via

What are some of your favorite "No one. Ever." memes? Or are you of the opinion that they're overdone? 

I'm a Lazy Butt Face

GUESS WHAT?!?!

It's my birthday week. I have a bunch of super amazing bloggy friends who have oh, so generously decided to give of their time and talent for you guys, but I was too lazy to come up with a week of giveaways (read: I forgot about it until 11:00 Sunday night and didn't want to spend an hour putting together a post for today), so you will have one big day of giveaways galore.

That day will just so happen to fall on my birthday. Also known as this Wednesday. 

What can you expect until then?

Oh, the usual. 

-A picture of me holding some fruit or vegetable and complaining about headaches and back pain and becoming a psychopath.

-A list of 25 things that I want to do before I turn 25.

-Probably some story about how awesome my parents and husband are for allowing me to live to the ripe old age of 24.

Actually, that is a lie. There is only one day between now and Wednesday, so I will not write about all those things, because you already know how lazy I am. I'll probably just pet my cat instead of writing blog posts, because you all know how cute and lovable he is.

He loves me. Obviously. 

And now I'm just going to leave, because this was the most pointless blog post you've ever read. But just for fun... Let's have a vote, shall we? 

What are the Garners going to have?
	Boy
	Girl
	Who cares - it'll look like an alien either way!
	Giant
pollcode.com free polls

PS: Speaking of votes, the book for November is "Gone Girl" by Gillian Flynn. If you're checking it out from the library... good luck. I'm number 97 on my library's waiting list (and that's for the ebook... the hard copy has over 100 patrons on the waiting list).

Random Ramblings

Hi friends!! 

This post is just going to be a whole bunch of random.

1. I can't think of anything clever to write. 

2. I'm so excited for Husker football that I just might go crazy waiting till Saturday to see them play. 

3. I think babies are cute, and sometimes think I want one, but then I decide I'm not ready. 

4. I really want chinese food. 

5. These blogs are awesome and you should check them out. 

I'm Lesley, a 27-yr-old creativity addict. I choose to think about crafting and creating all day long since I'm not all too happy with my job. I'm trained as a high school teacher but because there's no work here and because I don't think it's what I want to do I'm kind of lost in the area of my career. I blog about everyday adventures, crafting, cooking & all that's in between. Would love for you to stop by!
blog//twitter//pinterest

My blog is all about finding a happy, healthy balance in life. I share recipes, marriage insights and quite a few pictures of my dog. I'm a big fan of all things relating to health, but I get particularly excited when new studies come out about the benefits of dark chocolate. I love discovering new blogs, so come say "hi!"
Blog//Twitter//Facebook

Hi friends! My name is Sierra and I blog over at 

Oh, Just Living the Dream . I am a turn-off-the-alarm-7-times person in the morning, a 4th Grade teacher by day, and an avid movie lover by night. I love to travel the world and teach! So far I have been to Kenya, Mexico, Puerto Rico, Fiji and Hawaii with many more travels on the way! I blog about the inner workings of life--love, heartbreak, God, teaching, family, traveling, and just life in general! Come stop by! There is never a dull day. Ever.  A lot of laughs and a lot of fun are had! Plus, I'm super funny....kind of..

blog//instagram//facebook

I'm Rima and I'm a late 20-something (eek) girl from SoCali. I'm a full time Registered Nurse who dreams one day to have her own coffee shop/bakery. Either that or just travel the world. You can catch me either saving patients's lives or flipping through cook books in the kitchen on what to bake/make. Bolu By Rima is about my day-to-day likes/rants, my passion about saving lives and feeding the belly. Oh with the occasional glimpse of my love, Rob aka the Pillow and my furry son, Chimichanga.
blog//facebook//twitter

Cutesy Bootsie is where I blog about what I love to wear, craft, my blessings and challenges, as well as my latest obsessions. Originally from the great state of Minnesota (go Vikings!), I now call sunny South Florida home.  Truly, I can't imagine living in cold or driving on ice and snow ever again. I am a middle school teacher by day so, clearly, I need an outlet and blogging has become that for me.

blog//twitter//pinterest

Welcome to Discovery Street!  A blog documenting my journey of discovering how to be a wife, home-owner, DIY-er, soon to be parent and more.  I'm in love with thrifting, taking pictures of food and my dog Augustus, travel, really good coffee, and social media.  Blogging has been a hobby for years, but some day I hope to make it my job!  

blog//facebook//twitter

Hola! I'm Helen. Creative mind behind the blog Eat.Enjoy.Live. A girl on a quest to live life being perfectly imperfect. I blog about life in general; inspiration, friendship, recipes and DIY. I just launched my first shop on Etsy called Glassy Bands. I make stretchy bookmarks out of elastic and glass beads that won't slip out of your book! Come over and say hello, I'd love to have you :)

blog//facebook//twitter

Hello & Howdy! My name is Britt and I blog at Beelittlequeen! I write about my single life happenings which covers a wide range of topics from family, faith, couponing, beauty, fashion, music/books/movies, to friends and crafts. You'll see that I am an animal lover/advocate and that I have a coffee addiction-it's serious! I guess you could say that my blog is classified as a lifestyle blog, but I have also done some video make up tutorials! Please stop by, i love meeting new people!

blog//twitter//hellocotton



Happy Thursday!! TGIAF (That's "Thank Goodness It's Almost Friday," for all you non-savvy folk out there).

That One Time...

Hey guys!! 

I hope everyone is doing well! I'm so ready for the weekend to be here, it's not even funny. Hey, speaking of fun and funny, I was just thinking that it would be fun to tell you about that one time. 

I got flipped off for brake-checking a girl who was tailgating me, speeding, and talking on her cell phone in rush hour traffic.

I locked myself in the bathroom and no one could get me out for a good two hours. I was six.

I puked in the Home Depot parking lot after a hard swim practice. High school Alyx was mortified, even though no one saw.

I wore khakis to school and got my lady times, then wore a lost and found sweatshirt around my waist for the rest of the day to hide the evidence.

I won a pizza-eating contest against a bunch of 14-year-old boys. 

I won a pie-eating contest at the pool. I was eleven.

I bawled over cupcakes. No, not the breakdown in Germany, but the time I dropped a box of cupcakes on the ground and they landed frosting-side down. They were for my kids at church. I'm ashamed to admit that I've cried over cupcakes more than once.

I walked into the wrong apartment in the middle of the night. This resulted in a very scared and confused Asian man pushing me out of his apartment while yelling indecipherable words. If you want to know more... I'll dedicate a vlog to this story. Just because it's that good.

I had my third successful day of working out and made sure to get photo evidence.

I ran over a turtle that was crossing the freeway and earned the nickname "Turtle Killer." I was devastated. I was in driver's ed, and yes, my teacher came up with that winning nickname.

I cried like a baby because Mike walked by and scared the crap out of me. No, he wasn't trying [this time].

And that's all I've got. 

Except not really. I just remembered that I have to tell you some really exciting news. I'm going to be co-hosting the vlog linkup with a bunch of awesome ladies who I am too lazy to name. BUT. We will be talking about one of my favorite topics - shoes. The What's on Your Feet vlog linkup will be live in one week (August 15th), so mark your calendars!!

Happy Thursday!!! 

A Day in the Life. Public Service Announcements.

Hey guys!! 


Hope you're all having an awesome week so far! Thank goodness it's almost Friday.

Some public service Announcements for you people:

1. I believe shorts are meant to cover more than your undergarments. If your boy short panties are hanging out of your shorts, you should probably invest in either some different underwear or different shorts. Preferably different shorts.

2. I've added some new prints & photographs to the shop over the past few weeks. Yay. Get 15% off through August 1st with code: BLOGGY15

3. Canned chicken is good for chicken salad, but not chicken enchiladas. I was desperate last week and didn't want to go to the store. Just doing my duty of warning you all so that you don't make the same mistake I did.

4. I am giving away a bracelet here. Entries are low, so you could win. Boom.

5. Thin is not always healthy, and not everyone can be thin. Please quit with this "Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels." Yeah, and I'm sure you'll be saying that when you die of problems caused by anorexia. Pay attention to your body type. If you're naturally bigger, nothing you can do will make you a stick, so don't kill yourself trying.

Last but not least... The following conversation with one of my besties is pretty much a daily occurrence in our lives. Especially when my husband steals my phone.

Happy Thursday!! 

Lately. Awesome Points. Other Stuff.

Yo Homies!!


I'm in South Dakota right now, so if you're not getting lots of comments from me... that's why. I haven't started ignoring you guys, I promise!!

Anyway. Here's a bit of life lately:

1. KITTENS!!! 'Nuff said. Just look at the picture and say, "Awww!"

2. Blog Designs!!! I am working on a few right now, but am always open to customers!!

3. Awesome points!!! I decided to start this thing where I add up the awesome points that you guys have gotten from random things on my blog. Once you get to 75,000 awesome points, you will get a random (probably ridiculous but definitely awesome) surprise in the mail from yours truly. Just keep looking for ways to get awesome points. You'll know when you get them.


4. I don't really have a number four. Oh, look! A cool picture!

5. Uhhh... Tell me something funny that happened to you or a friend this past week. The person who makes me laugh the hardest gets 7,500 awesome points.

No Real Post Today Because...

1. I'm sort of lazy.
2. It's nice outside.
3. We're out in Lincoln getting our house hunt on (wish us luck).

Now here's a pretty picture to keep you company while I'm gone.

Yes, I took it in Scotland. No, I haven't completely forgotten that I'm not done telling you all about that trip.

Happy Thursday!! 

WIWW. And Stuff.

shirt: Walmart sweater: Köln belt: f21 jeans: alloy shoes: TOMS

linking up here. 

GUESS WHO'S BACK?! And... sharing outfit pictures that were taken in... October? That would be me. 

1. I'm going insane. Every time I open my mouth, some bit of random nonsense comes out. I can't even handle it. 

2. I'm contemplating stealing my parents' dog. She's super adorable, and she loves me. She is also a chair thief who chews leather bags up. 

3. I am the proud new owner of this puppy (not a real puppy... a figurative one. But I will love it and care for it like I would a new puppy, because HELLO. Have you looked at this beauty? My parents are amazing and got it for us). 

via

4. From yesterday's post, #3 was the lie. I'm ashamed to admit that, yes. I had my punctuation on a random girl's tan seats. In her brand new car. And yes, I can play the piano, oboe, and flute. 

5. I dropped a shampoo bottle on my toe in the shower. Holy balls, there was so much blood. It somehow managed to slice my big toe open and take a big chunk of it off. Ouch. 

In other news... I watched The Vow on the plane ride yesterday. 

My Thoughts: 

- Holy crap, is it possible for Channing Tatum to not look sexy? 

- Ohmygosh, I'm crying my eyes out on a plane full of people. No one look, no one look, please don't look. Oh, you looked? Don't mind me, I just have... allergies? Yeah, allergies. 

- I'd punch Jeremy in the face, too. What a freakin douche. 

via

- NOOOOO WHY ARE YOU BREAKING UP?!?!?! CAN'T YOU SEE THAT HE'S CRAZY ABOUT YOU? 

- I HATED the ending. So stupid. 

Overall, it was a "meh" movie. 

What's your favorite chick flick?? 

I Ate Pumbaa [a Vlog] and other Random Crap

I will be serenading you today, but I feel like I should also mention (if you don't want to listen to me sing...), I'm over here as well. 

A weem ba wep a weem ba wep, a weem ba wep a weem ba wep...
In her kitchen, her tiny kitchen, Alyx ate Pumbaa tonightttttt
In her kitchen, her tiny kitchen, he tasted quite all righttttttttt
oooohhhhhhwweeeeeeeee, I ate some Pumbaa!!!

Okay, so it wasn't Warthog, but it was wild boar, which is pretty much the exact same thing, right? If it's not, don't bother arguing, because I don't really care. 

You know those people that literally have a song for everything? I'm one of those people. I wish my life was like a musical - too bad I can't dance. 

I'm good at a lot of things, but I'm not amazing at any one specific thing. This used to really bother me, but I've come to terms with the talents I have that aren't easily seen. For example, I'm an awesome leader, and I can command the attention of a room quite easily [that may be because I'm an Amazon woman, but I don't want to talk about it]. 

I almost crashed my bike today. I was coming home from the grocery store wearing a 50 pound backpack, and the bike was loaded down with our weekly supply of pop. This made for a very awkward ride home. I seriously considered getting off the bike and walking it. 

via

I'm nervous to pay my enrollment deposit, because it means I'm actually going to grad school. AHHHHHH!!!! 

Katrin wrote a hilarious blog post on Germans. As you all know, I love these people and all their ridiculous little quirks. If you don't believe what I tell you about them, you can hear it all there (and then some) from an actual German! 

I love you guys. Seriously. I love your emails, I love your comments, I love that I get to reply to each and every one of you. I love reading your blogs, I love it all. And now I'm done being a pansy. 

Happy Thursday! 

Little Randoms. Toilets. Elephants.

Hiiii!!!


So lately my life has been spent on the computer. I have a ridiculous amount of English homework because I'm trying to finish two Independent Study classes in less than 8 weeks, and that's one of the reasons I haven't exactly been the best blogger, either. Sorry if I'm not commenting as much on your posts or if I'm leaving super generic comments. I promise that I love you all and that I will be better once this is over! Oh, and PLEASE for my sake, turn off your comment word verification!!! I mean, REALLY. This affects my homework productivity levels, people!!! 

Anyway, because of this whole English is taking over my life thing, I don't have any super creative, crazy "Germans are interesting because..." stories. Just a bunch of random thoughts that run through my mind when I should be doing homework.

1. I have always wanted to ride an elephant. For some reason, this has been on my mind a lot lately. Don't ask, because I have no answers for you.

via

2. If you want to find out about that one time I scored a goal for the other team, you have to go here. This is also the blog of the girl with the most amazing eyebrows.

via

3. I really need to clean and rearrange our apartment. It's been the same for too long, and it's driving me crazy. Plus, since my life has been taken over by homework, the apartment has suffered in the cleanliness department. I'm not even going to put a picture here, because I'm embarrassed by what it looks like. Let's just say that if one of you decided to make a spontaneous visit, it would take me more than 10 minutes to make the place presentable. 

4. I have time to do ONE more blog design before I go out of town for 2 weeks. If you're interested, prices and portfolio are here. I get them done within a couple of days as long as you email me back. I just recently finished this one for Bri. Check it out on her site.

5. I had another weird/vivid dream last night. It involved walking into my in-laws' bathroom and discovering that it had 2 toilets instead of one, and flowery toilet paper. One toilet was German, and the other was American. I sat there for what seemed like hours trying to decide which one to use.

   via                                                                                  via

So anyway. That's how exciting my life is - toilet dreams and thinking about riding an elephant.  

Random. Vampire Bunnies. Books. Blisters.

Hi there! 


I have literally had the most random thoughts all morning, and I thought I'd share them with you. You're welcome.

- I had a dream last night that a vampire bunny killed me. Or brought me to the world of the undead where I then fed on other unfortunate humans. Seriously, though - it chased me through a forest and latched onto the flowy skirt I was wearing, but I was able to swish the skirt and swing it off. It eventually caught back up to me, though, and I stepped on it. Then, since it was a vampire bunny, it wasn't hurt, and bit my leg, and sucked my blood.

the bunny that attacked me was NOT this cute and lovable. 

- I also had a dream last night that I went to Wal-Mart with some friends. I bought a bunch of random crap. Oh, the things you dream about as an expat.

via

- I have a blister the size of a small child on my foot. Okay, so I'm exaggerating a little bit. But it IS huge.

gross, right?! Can you see the size of that thing?!?! 

- I think I'm the only blogger in the world who is not writing a book. Or thinking of writing one. I'm reading one, though. Does that count?

the book I'm reading. 

- I'm confused by what is considered "professional" photography (and a good photo) in the small German town where I teach... I think the picture below speaks for itself.

- I'm refusing to get dressed or do my hair today. Wanna see how I plan on walking around for the next 10 or so hours?

- I really need to tweeze my eyebrows. They're furry little monsters. Do you guys say tweeze or pluck? I used to say pluck, but then someone told me it made them think of chickens, so now I say tweeze.

via

- I need to do homework. Boooooo.

- Sarah - when I thought of chickens, I thought of your blog. I hope you're not offended that chickens make me think of you...

via

- The most overused phrase in my vocabulary has to do with crack. I really like to tell people that I'm on crack, or they're on crack, or their grandma is on crack, even though it's not true.