Toilet Talk. Sumo Wrestlers. Awesomeness.

Hello again, you schmexy people, you! You don't have a problem with me calling you sexy, do you? No? Great. Now go look in the mirror and tell yourselves how schmexy you are. Then come back to your computer and read the rest of this post.

This is a potty-mouth post. Just warning you now. In honor of taking the toilet out of the bathroom so that I can start painting, I wanted to give you a post in which I tell you all things toilet. Or actually just five things, because we all know how psycho I am when it comes to having lists of five.

Anyway. 


1. How do morbidly obese people sit on a toilet and aim?? Husband and I were talking about this the other day (totally normal, I know), and were completely perplexed. Any sumo wrestlers out there that wanna tell me how they manage to avoid getting poop all over the floor?

via

2. I watched an episode of myth busters where they found that the toilet seat really is the cleanest surface in a public restroom. As in the floor had more fecal matter than the toilet seat. I never set my bags on the floor in public restrooms now. I don't need a poop bag, thanks.

3. Heated toilet seats exist and I want one. Is that weird? Probably. But you know what? I don't care.

4. German men pee sitting down. I'm not kidding. They even have signs telling men not to stand. Interesting, eh? <--I just channeled my [nonexistent] inner Canadian.

via

5. I am terrified of toilets overflowing. It is one of my biggest fears. It just sounds so... nasty, especially since there's usually only one reason your toilet is clogged. I'm sorry, but that kinda water is not what I want all over my bathroom floor.

With that, dear readers, I leave you with some very funny, very pretty, very talented, and very not-toilet bloggers. I consider each of these ladies friends and read each of their blogs on a regular basis (and I obviously have fantastic taste). Trust me when I tell you that a visit to each blog will be well worth your while. Besides, what else do you have to do on a Saturday afternoon? HA! Totally kidding, I know you all are awesome and have lives. Now I'm gonna shut up and let these awesome ladies do the talking.

Hello readers of 'every day is a new adventure'! i'm kim from wanderlustee and my blog is just that -- me, wanderlusting. i currently reside in NYC and teach spanish to high school kids in the south bronx, but that's all about to change as i got a new job (all chronicled on the ol' blogaroo!) for the next school year. if you stop by during the summer you can expect to read lots of posts about me sleeping in, searching travel deals and probably watching frasier, an exciting life i know. i'm also making it a personal mission to do at least one cool NYC thing per week this summer so if you're into that, or have suggestions, shoot me a line! 

facebook//twitter//instagram

Hey readers! My name is Nicole and I blog over at Nicole Marie. I'm a girlfriend, a student and a photographer. Over on my end you can find many pictures, little notes and a few giveaways here and there. When I am not blogging or taking pictures I am either hanging with my boo/family, enjoying the outdoors or studying. 

Hey all! I'm Ali from Our Happily Ever After! I live in AZ with my hubster Andrew and this month we welcomed our first kid into the world! A baby girl named Aurora and we couldn't be more excited! Our blog is about life, craziness, and the little things that make life happy ;) Come visit and if ya like it, stay awhile!

blog//twitter//instagram: mrsalimills

If my blog makes you want to 1. ride a bike, 2. bake a cake, or 3. be a nurse, then I have done my job. But If you aren't into any of those things, we can still be friends. We already have a couple things in common: we like Alyx's blog and we are human beings. See? Hello, friend.

Blog//Pinterest//Twitter

Hey there! My name is Rosie and I am the gal behind Craftbotic, a friendly blog based around all kinds of crafts, from literature to sewing.  When I first started blogging (a whole 4 months ago), I thought it would be a place to record all the stuff I made, now it's that and so much more thanks to the rest of the blogging community.  I co-host a book club, run a project called Blog Angels and also regular link-ups. I'd love it if you'd come say hello and while you're there, come and join in!

twitter//pinterest//hello cotton

Hi there!  I'm Kym and I blog about my style, my musings, random thoughts, and other assorted nonsense over at bitty.and.bunny.  I'm just a left-handed animal lover who loves to do yoga, is a vegetarian struggling to love her veggies, lets her boyfriend convince her to go on long runs, and has a soft spot for good books, mashed potatoes, and skirts with pockets.  I hope you'll hop on over sometime for a visit; I love meeting new people!

twitter//facebook//bloglovin//pinterest//rss//hello cotton    

Won't you stop by and say hello to these lovely ladies? 

Culture Shock.

Yo! 


First of all, I want to say THANK YOU!! Thank you for reading, commenting, and just being awesome in general. I still find it hard to believe that anyone would be interested in the crap that comes out of my mouth (or my fingers, I guess... since I'm typing this), let alone 5-freaking-hundred of you!! In order to better say thank you, I will be having a couple of group giveaways over the next week, so keep your eye out for those.

Guys. I am experiencing culture shock. In my own flipping country. How does that even happen?!?! I'm not sure how I feel about it, actually. I'm just going to ramble a little bit.

- Wal-Mart. Holy balls. We went in there today, and I was just amazed. Umm. I forgot how huge that place is. And how much stuff there is. And... we managed to leave with five things. Five. I'm pretty sure that's some sort of record, so one of you should go ahead and alert the media. 

- Lack of recycling. I almost cried when I threw away a pop bottle today. Like, it was physically painful. And when the paper went into the same trash can as the pop bottle, food remains, and yogurt containers, I almost had a freaking heart attack.

- Obese people. Guys. America has a serious problem. I'd heard it before, but never realized how bad it was until I stepped off the plane and immediately noticed how much larger the average American is than the average German. 

- Huge parking places. Umm. I was driving my parents' Equinox today, and when I parked it and each side had tons of space, I flipped out! Parking spaces big enough for a large vehicle?? WELCOME TO AMERICA, BIATCHES!!!! 


- Tacos. Burritos. Salsa. Mexican food in general. Holy happiness. I love Amuuurica, and I love those Mexicans that make delicious food.

- People being polite. Now I'm the rude one. Bumping into people and not saying, "Excuse me." Forgetting to smile constantly. I need to go back to Europe, I guess!

- English. I hate it. I hate that no one is speaking German. I'm still prepared to speak German everywhere I go, and when it doesn't happen, it makes me sad.

- Flip Flops. Holy beach footwear, batman. These shoes are all over the place, and I guess I didn't realize that I've grown to dislike them. I don't know why, but I have. Oh, heaven help me - I'm turning German. 


- Bad drivers. Someone take me back to Germany, please. They may drive fast, but at least they know the freaking rules of the road... and what a turn signal is. I HATE Kansas drivers. Maybe it's better where you live, but here they are awful. 


- Customer service. Yes, it exists in America, and I've been without it for so long that it's started to annoy me now that I get it when I walk into a store. There must be something wrong with me. Seriously.

In other news... I made a skirt today - it took me less than an hour, and I'm in love with it. Like, really. We're going to elope next Tuesday. I can't wait to show it to you guys.

Also... We have more than 100 people signed up for Christmas in July! If you're interested and haven't signed up yet, sign up here!

To the Germans. Again.

Yo. 


Christmas in July bloggy gift exchange signup is here. If you are a blogger in Africa (or know someone who is), you should send them my way. We have one person from Africa signed up and want to keep shipping costs low for both her and her partner.

If you're waiting on an email from me, I promise I'll get to it ASAP. 

To the Germans: 


Generally, when I meet you, it is with a firm handshake. But excuse my french as I ask you what in the (okay, I can't bring myself to say "hell" because I pride myself on being family friendly, except I just said "hell" anyway, so it doesn't really matter, does it?) am I suppose to do when I'm leaving you? 

Example: Husband and I are in a choir (yes, it is packed full of old people, and yes, we sing old German folk songs, and yes, we love every second of it). Last night was our last night with said choir, so naturally we said goodbye. I listened to them sing this song to us (and wiped a tear or two from my eye - don't judge).



As the song ended, though, I realized that I was going to have to say goodbye to each and every one of them. HOLY BALLS! What do I do? Do I hug them? Do I simply shake hands? Do I do both of the above? Do I do none of the above? Oh - too late - they're coming towards me. This thought process ended in awkward hugging all around. Oh, you're German and I don't know you very well? Let's hug it out. Oh, you just reached out for a handshake? Screw that - let's hug it out. 


Needless to say, all's well that ends well. I still don't know if I should have just stuck with a nice, cordial handshake, but I'm not too concerned about it.

via

I love the Germans - really, I do. I may poke fun at their always-go-by-the-book-never-break-the-rules-five-minutes-early-is-really-five-minutes-late-I-think-you're-wrong-and-I'll-be-blunt-about-it-and-tell-you-to-your-face-while-I'm-eating-Schnitzel-and-bratwurst-and-drinking-beer ways, but I love them in spite of it all. 


I'm going to go home with silly little habits like...
-tacking "oder...?" onto the end of sentences to make them into questions
-dipping my french fries in mayo
-opening windows to air out the room every couple of hours (even in the dead of winter)
-separating my trash into 50 different bags
-having the word "doch" be my argument for everything
-eating my pizza with a fork (<-- that's a total lie and I will never do that)

I'm going to miss it here. 


In other news: We got our landlord issues worked out - we're coming home with only about 350 EUR less than we originally expected, which is nice. Thank you for all of your positive thoughts and prayers! Everything really does work out. 


Have you ever lived or traveled abroad? How the heck are you supposed to say goodbye to people? 

Only in Germany.

What's hip-hop-happening, my gangster bloggy friends? Or "How do you do" if you prefer to be proper. 


Anyway. 


Germany is such an interesting place. I'm sure you all know by now how much I love the Germans, in spite of all their silly quirks. Over the past couple weeks, I've remembered a few more things that make the Germans oh, so lovable.


So. Only in Germany....


- do people get a kilo of asparagus as a birthday gift. I'm not even kidding, you guys. Almost every German that I have ever met is obsessed with "Spargel." They buy it by the pound (or the kilo, even!), and they will eat it as often as humanly possible. And yes, someone I know really did get a kilo for her birthday.

via

- do people celebrate "Christi Himmelfahrt" (Ascension Day) by drinking beer all day. Seriously. There's a Fest today in a nearby town to celebrate Christ's ascension, and there will be (you guessed it) tons of beer, bratwurst, and cake. 

via

- do people eat "wedgie burgers" and clean their homes with "wacuums." I am not going to lie. I make fun of my students all the time for pronouncing their "Vs" like "Ws." In turn, they make fun of my American accent. We share the love. 


- do people wear socks with sandals and consider it fashionable. I hate to say it, but the stereotype is true. At least in this town it is. I think they're a little more fashionable in the big city. But not really.

via

- do people complain about four months between vacations being too long. What? You had a 3 week vacation in December/January and you had to wait until the beginning of May to take your next 2 week vacation?? That's awful. 


See? The Germans can be silly. But you bet your bottom dollar that I will have a bajillion posts like this once I get back to America and am dealing with that culture shock. 


So. What things "only" happen in your town? 


And... I'm down to ONE medium ad. If you want it, email me. Free with swap if you have 250+ followers, otherwise it's $2. 

Linking up with Alycia for tid+bits - showing tid bits of my German life.

Sunday Confessions Link-up

Happy Sunday, everyone!! 


I'm not sure if I'm ready for the end of the weekend, but it's coming either way, so I guess I'd better start getting ready! Ha! 

<center><a href="http://garnerfamilyadventures.blogspot.com" target="_blank"><img src="http://farm8.staticflickr.com/7148/6701442513_4c7153a301.jpg" width="200" height="200" /></a></center>
Anyway, as usual, it's time for you all to spill it! Don't worry - I'll be confessing, too. Grab a button and link on up!! 


1. I still have some Christmas decorations up. Ummm... I really have no excuse for this - I guess I should just say that they're up early for Christmas in July?

via

Ohmygosh. I just had a brilliant idea. I am so going to have a Christmas in July bloggy party where we all exchange gifts. Totally trademarking that right now. Stay tuned... because it's going to be awesome!! 

2. Remember this vlog? I make up song parodies like that all the time. Mike does, too, and occasionally we'll just sing about ridiculous things like poop. Because we're mature adults. 

via

3. My most-used word in the past week has been "Farfanoogin." Don't ask me what it means because I couldn't tell you. Husband made it up, and it has become a word that I use constantly. Again with the mature adult thing.

See? I told you I'm mature. Obviously. 

4. I'm a knuckle-cracker. Germans are weird about cracking joints, and whenever I crack my knuckles in public, everyone in the area turns and looks at me like I just shouted, "I HATE DAVID HASSELHOFF" at the top of my lungs [aka they look at me like I'm on crack].

Because after seeing this, how could anyone hate the guy? 

5. I'm almost finished with both of my English classes, but have been avoiding them like the plague. I really should just buckle down and get them over with, especially since I have to have them done in the next couple weeks.

via

Go ahead and get to confessing! And someone please tell me I'm not alone with the Christmas decorations... 

I Ate Pumbaa [a Vlog] and other Random Crap

I will be serenading you today, but I feel like I should also mention (if you don't want to listen to me sing...), I'm over here as well. 

A weem ba wep a weem ba wep, a weem ba wep a weem ba wep...
In her kitchen, her tiny kitchen, Alyx ate Pumbaa tonightttttt
In her kitchen, her tiny kitchen, he tasted quite all righttttttttt
oooohhhhhhwweeeeeeeee, I ate some Pumbaa!!!

Okay, so it wasn't Warthog, but it was wild boar, which is pretty much the exact same thing, right? If it's not, don't bother arguing, because I don't really care. 

You know those people that literally have a song for everything? I'm one of those people. I wish my life was like a musical - too bad I can't dance. 

I'm good at a lot of things, but I'm not amazing at any one specific thing. This used to really bother me, but I've come to terms with the talents I have that aren't easily seen. For example, I'm an awesome leader, and I can command the attention of a room quite easily [that may be because I'm an Amazon woman, but I don't want to talk about it]. 

I almost crashed my bike today. I was coming home from the grocery store wearing a 50 pound backpack, and the bike was loaded down with our weekly supply of pop. This made for a very awkward ride home. I seriously considered getting off the bike and walking it. 

via

I'm nervous to pay my enrollment deposit, because it means I'm actually going to grad school. AHHHHHH!!!! 

Katrin wrote a hilarious blog post on Germans. As you all know, I love these people and all their ridiculous little quirks. If you don't believe what I tell you about them, you can hear it all there (and then some) from an actual German! 

I love you guys. Seriously. I love your emails, I love your comments, I love that I get to reply to each and every one of you. I love reading your blogs, I love it all. And now I'm done being a pansy. 

Happy Thursday! 

There's No Place Like Home... which is fitting, because today we're talking about GERMANY!!!

Hiiii guys!! 


I never thought I'd say this, but I think I'm excited to get back to our little apartment in Echzell. Spain and Scotland have been fun, but there is no place like home. Today is our travel day, so I'm without internet until we're back in our apartment.

I've got one last amazing guest post for you today (with some commentary by me... I couldn't resist! Sorry, Erin!), and she's pretty much amazeballs. Her name is Erin, and she is super awesome! She used to live and work in Germany, too, which is actually what this post is about. You have to read it and then check her out - she's great! 

She also does web design, and if any of you are looking for Wordpress blog design, she is amazing. Take it away, Erin!
************************************************************************************
Hi Everyone! This is Erin from EEF Etcetera, and I'm hijacking Alyx's blog! Today I'm going to tell you all about when I lived in Germany--which was a few years ago now, but was so much fun that it's still worth talking about!


I lived in Bavaria. I'm pretty sure that German who live up north make fun of this region (Alyx here: she's right... they do), much like we in Indiana make fun of people in Kentucky. In fact, Bavaria even has its own accent, which means I can't understand a darn thing that people who speak "proper" German say!

Despite the fact that the Germans down in Bavaria have a strong accent, wear lederhosen semi-regularly (no, really!), and let their cows walk through town (really!), it is BEAUTIFUL in this area. I lived in Garmisch-Partenkirchen which is a cute little tourist town that is surrounded by alps. The photo above I took while riding my bike just south of town!

See? I wasn't kidding! (Alyx again: What the heck... SERIOUSLY? I thought you were kidding about the cows! No wonder they make fun of Bavarians up here!)

There are tons of fun things to do in Garmisch, some of the things I did while I was there include: hiking the alps, biking, snowboarding, hiking a waterfall, swimming in a glacial lake, and hiking one of the gorges.
This photo is from the Partnachklamm, which I hiked through a few times. It's so pretty!

And of course, there's lots of drinking. Lots. Or maybe that was just us. But with several festivals throughout the year, there were lots of opportunities to get a great German bier!

Did I mention that this place looks just like a story book?





Yeah, ridiculous that such a place exists outside of a book or a movie! I feel so lucky to have lived there for two years--it's also where I met my boyfriend, Anthony. He's from California, not Germany, if you were wondering. (What, Erin? You don't go for men in Lederhosen?)

While there I worked at the Edelweiss, which is actually an American military hotel, and I'll be honest, the jobs were kind of lame (scraping plates, serving coffee, etc. nothing glamorous). But the opportunity it gave me to travel, learn about other cultures, and meet new people was well worth it!

I hope you've enjoyed learning a little about me and my time in Germany! If you ever have the opportunity to visit Garmisch-Partenkirchen, I highly recommend it!

Visit me here:

Blog | Facebook | Twitter

I May be En Route to Scotland, but today it's all about DEUTSCHLAND!!!

YO peeps!! Hope you all are doing fabulous. Apparently I am... I just looked at my followers and saw that I hit 400!! WOW!! Thanks. If you want to have a sneaky peek at some spain pictures... Add me on Facebook! The link is to the right. :)

Yesterday was our last day in Spain, and we are ready to hit up bonnie ole scotland for a whole week! Unfortunately (or fortunately) our itinerary is crazy full and we may or may not have internet access at all, so you might not hear from me too much. 

BUT. That is why I have lots of awesome guest posts for you, some about travel, some about love, some about fears... all of them AWESOME (and I would know... I already read them!). 

Anyway. This first one is from a bloggy friend who recently turned expat, and in none other than my favorite country - GERMANY! You guys have all heard my opinions on the Germans, why not see what someone else has to say? Take it away, Bailey! 

************************************************************************************
Hi Alyx's friends!

My name is Bailey and I write over at my little blog, Lost&Found.

Alyx asked me to keep you company while she is away,

traveling through some pretty beautiful parts of Europe.

So, here I am.

and I am super excited to be here!

I am a recent expat myself-

I moved to Germany a month ago to work as an Au Pair for at least one year.

In case you were wondering,

au pair is a glorified word for,

nanny/babysitter/housekeeper/cook/driver/teacher.

and, I love it.

I live with the most amazing family ever.

Anyway, today I wanted to write about living abroad.

I've only been in Germany for one month,

so here are some of my first impressions...

1. Germans really do love their sausage, beer, and ice cream.

This is no myth.

Sausage stands are everywhere- these fine creatures are consumed at breakfast, lunch, and dinner;

It is not uncommon to see German's drinking a beer or two at noon (or earlier);

and rain, snow, or shine, people will be seen enjoying ice cream.

2. The rail system in Germany (and all of Europe) is incredible.

Seriously, those of us living in the US got the short end of the stick.

It is so easy to travel all throughout Europe because public transport is so efficient.

Even better?

They are almost always on time and rarely breakdown.

3.  People love to walk.

It's true.

If people can walk, they will.

Unless the market is 5km away, you will not see a person get in their car to drive there.

No wonder German's are slimmer,

and still enjoy their sausage and beer.

4.  Automatic cars are rare.

Much to my horror,

automatic cars are still becoming popular over here in Europe.

This has been the biggest challenge for me,

since part of my job is to drive the kids around.

until a couple weeks ago, only knew how to drive an automatic car.

Manual cars are a royal pain in my ass,

and I still breakout in a sweat every time I have to drive.

via

5. People look at me like i'm insane because I wear flip flops.

not even joking.

I'm from CA, so unless it's raining, I will wear flip-flops.

and this, well, this baffles the German's.

I've lost count of how many strangers have asked me if my feet are cold

(or, I assume that's what they're saying since I don't understand a word of German).


6. Living in Europe is pretty cool.

I love Germany,

and I am so lucky to have the opportunity to live here.

The people, places, history, traditions...

there is so much to see and do and learn.

Moving here, experiencing a different culture, and traveling,

make this one of the best decisions I have ever made.

Yes, the traveling.

I have been here a month and I have already visited places like,

Munich

Eibsee Lake, Germany

Wurtzberg, Germany

Prague, Czech Republic

Bamberg, Germany

But, sometimes I do miss home, especially...

the food,

the sunshine (it's snowing at the moment),

English,

friends and family.

If you had the chance, would you move abroad for a year??

If you want to see more, head on over and say, Hi!

Germans love Panties...

I MEAN PANTYHOSE!! 


Oops. Anyway... Germans have this fascination with pantyhose, and I'm going to tell you allll about it. After I prove that I did, in fact, get dressed today. [Sometimes I have to document it, because let's be real - I spend 95% of my time in sweats.]

shirt: Primark belt: thrifted pants: alloy shoes: target

Please ignore the fact that I'm wearing my favorite skinny jeans yet again. I didn't say I got dressed in something different; I just said that I got dressed. 

Anyway. On to the main subject of this post, which is kind of a weird one - PANTYHOSE. 

I curse the things. In fact, I have only worn them maybe twice in my lifetime. My legs are ridiculously long, and I've never been able to find a pair that actually fits - instead they just sit a few inches below my crotch, and I walk around like a penguin, praying that they don't randomly fall down. If I don't have someone holding a gun to my head telling me to wear them - chances are high that those puppies don't go anywhere near my legs, no matter how pale or hairy they may be. 

The Germans, however, well... they're a little different. I noticed it when I was here a few years ago - all the women were wearing pantyhose all the time, even with jeans! I thought, "hmmm, must just be a phase." Fast forward 2.5 years and I'm back again, and the pantyhose wearing continues. Every day, with every outfit. Forget scarves, necklaces, belts, and earrings - in Germany, pantyhose are the main accessory. In fact, just the other day I was wearing this outfit, and a woman looked at me in complete shock and said, "Where are your pantyhose?" [Guys, I'm not kidding - I can't make this up.]

I just smiled and said, "I didn't wear any." 

I'm sure this came as an utter and total surprise to her. She didn't wear any?! Where is this American girl's decency? Doesn't she know that we wear pantyhose with everything?! Shorts, skirts, jeans, leggings - heck, even sweats [if they wore sweats, which they don't]. These people love their pantyhose. Give me back my athletic socks and tennies, because this pantyhose thing? That's just one part of the German culture that I will never be able to adapt to.