Toilet Talk. Sumo Wrestlers. Awesomeness.

Hello again, you schmexy people, you! You don't have a problem with me calling you sexy, do you? No? Great. Now go look in the mirror and tell yourselves how schmexy you are. Then come back to your computer and read the rest of this post.

This is a potty-mouth post. Just warning you now. In honor of taking the toilet out of the bathroom so that I can start painting, I wanted to give you a post in which I tell you all things toilet. Or actually just five things, because we all know how psycho I am when it comes to having lists of five.


1. How do morbidly obese people sit on a toilet and aim?? Husband and I were talking about this the other day (totally normal, I know), and were completely perplexed. Any sumo wrestlers out there that wanna tell me how they manage to avoid getting poop all over the floor?
2. I watched an episode of myth busters where they found that the toilet seat really is the cleanest surface in a public restroom. As in the floor had more fecal matter than the toilet seat. I never set my bags on the floor in public restrooms now. I don't need a poop bag, thanks.

3. Heated toilet seats exist and I want one. Is that weird? Probably. But you know what? I don't care.

4. German men pee sitting down. I'm not kidding. They even have signs telling men not to stand. Interesting, eh? <--I just channeled my [nonexistent] inner Canadian.

5. I am terrified of toilets overflowing. It is one of my biggest fears. It just sounds so... nasty, especially since there's usually only one reason your toilet is clogged. I'm sorry, but that kinda water is not what I want all over my bathroom floor.

With that, dear readers, I leave you with some very funny, very pretty, very talented, and very not-toilet bloggers. I consider each of these ladies friends and read each of their blogs on a regular basis (and I obviously have fantastic taste). Trust me when I tell you that a visit to each blog will be well worth your while. Besides, what else do you have to do on a Saturday afternoon? HA! Totally kidding, I know you all are awesome and have lives. Now I'm gonna shut up and let these awesome ladies do the talking.
Hello readers of 'every day is a new adventure'! i'm kim from wanderlustee and my blog is just that -- me, wanderlusting. i currently reside in NYC and teach spanish to high school kids in the south bronx, but that's all about to change as i got a new job (all chronicled on the ol' blogaroo!) for the next school year. if you stop by during the summer you can expect to read lots of posts about me sleeping in, searching travel deals and probably watching frasieran exciting life i know. i'm also making it a personal mission to do at least one cool NYC thing per week this summer so if you're into that, or have suggestions, shoot me a line

Hey readers! My name is Nicole and I blog over at Nicole Marie. I'm a girlfriend, a student and a photographer. Over on my end you can find many pictures, little notes and a few giveaways here and there. When I am not blogging or taking pictures I am either hanging with my boo/family, enjoying the outdoors or studying. 

Hey all! I'm Ali from Our Happily Ever After! I live in AZ with my hubster Andrew and this month we welcomed our first kid into the world! A baby girl named Aurora and we couldn't be more excited! Our blog is about life, craziness, and the little things that make life happy ;) Come visit and if ya like it, stay awhile!
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If my blog makes you want to 1. ride a bike, 2. bake a cake, or 3. be a nurse, then I have done my job. But If you aren't into any of those things, we can still be friends. We already have a couple things in common: we like Alyx's blog and we are human beings. See? Hello, friend.

Hey there! My name is Rosie and I am the gal behind Craftbotic, a friendly blog based around all kinds of crafts, from literature to sewing.  When I first started blogging (a whole 4 months ago), I thought it would be a place to record all the stuff I made, now it's that and so much more thanks to the rest of the blogging community.  I co-host a book club, run a project called Blog Angels and also regular link-ups. I'd love it if you'd come say hello and while you're there, come and join in!
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Hi there!  I'm Kym and I blog about my style, my musings, random thoughts, and other assorted nonsense over at bitty.and.bunny.  I'm just a left-handed animal lover who loves to do yoga, is a vegetarian struggling to love her veggies, lets her boyfriend convince her to go on long runs, and has a soft spot for good books, mashed potatoes, and skirts with pockets.  I hope you'll hop on over sometime for a visit; I love meeting new people!
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Won't you stop by and say hello to these lovely ladies? 


Unknown said...

Ahh so glad I'm home and able to catch up on your blog. This post per usual is HILARIOUS! I had no idea about German male bathroom habits haha.

I'll be sending the blurb over to you ASAP! :)

twiggy@thedirtlife said...

i think those german men are genius. i can see from the diagram that sitting down reduces splash...and from the years of mopping my bathroom tile, i can vouch that said diagram is accurate.

Liz Brown said...

I pondered the picture of the sumo wrestler awhile, and considered the large people at the nursing home I work at, and I still don't have a clue as to how they do their business. And I laughed outright at the German sign. I'm showing that to some males I know ... :D

Katrin said...

I soooooo want to have a heated toilet seat! That would be absolutely wonderful!
is #4 really that surprising? :)) Haha.

Alana Christine said...

bahahahaha. Idk if I should be repulsed or intrigued by this post.

In other news, I'm NEVER sitting my purse on the floor again.

Anna said...

seriously? They pee sitting....for what reason? (less chance of urine somewhere BESIDES the toilet, perhaps?) hm. I might have to investigate this.

ha, you know how women's restrooms have couches in them sometimes? They are total poop couches. I wonder how many particles have floated over their way. :)

I'll Love You Forever said...

LOL, this post is great! Thanks for this post, loved it. Looking forward to more reads.

Unknown said...

Dude Andrew and I talk about the same stuff! Just one more reason why we're friends hahahaha but srsly, how DO they aim???

Brianna said...

There are just never enough blogs to love!

Madeline Grace said...

So I'm sitting and work reading this post and I can't help but laugh out loud! I think this is the greatest thing ever! I would like the answers to these questions so if you get them you'll have to make another post about them!

tifsong said...

Funny, but my husbands mission president told all of the missionaries in his district that he should pee sitting down. (my husband served in Germany/Switzerland.)

RadiantKristen said...

So, in Asia they use a different kind of toilet... It's basically a hole in the floor that water runs over. No, I'm not joking. It's disgusting. But easier for sumo wrestlers to use, I'm sure. Just make the hole wider.

I really hope nobody but you reads this comment. It's disgusting. But true. I had to suffer through 2 weeks of "Eastern toilets" in China. The stories I could tell (but won't)...

I had a boyfriend who sat down to pee. Don't ask how I know this. His bathroom was not a sanitary place, despite his more hygienic urination style.

I'm going to stop NOW while you still want to be my twin.

Natasha Louise Taylor said...

hahaha wow toilet signs to not stand that is crazy and blahhhhhhhh public bathrooms are the worst, I think that's why they put little hangers on the back of a lot of their doors!! so gross

Alex, Speaking Denglish said...

The German men peeing sitting down thing I may never get over. Really. So bizarre.

rooth said...

Okay never putting my stuff on the floor ever again - thanks for the PSA!

Skip to Malou said...

I've used a heated toilet and it's a bit bizarre!! {Much better than the freezing toilets in Europe though, seriously!} I think you could ask any overweight Westerner how they use the toilet because Asians use the pits anyway {And what about airplane toilets? Now THAT must be tricky!}

Sara Louise said...

Now this is disturbing... I've thought about number 1 too.

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