Culture Shock.


First of all, I want to say THANK YOU!! Thank you for reading, commenting, and just being awesome in general. I still find it hard to believe that anyone would be interested in the crap that comes out of my mouth (or my fingers, I guess... since I'm typing this), let alone 5-freaking-hundred of you!! In order to better say thank you, I will be having a couple of group giveaways over the next week, so keep your eye out for those.

Guys. I am experiencing culture shock. In my own flipping country. How does that even happen?!?! I'm not sure how I feel about it, actually. I'm just going to ramble a little bit.

- Wal-Mart. Holy balls. We went in there today, and I was just amazed. Umm. I forgot how huge that place is. And how much stuff there is. And... we managed to leave with five things. Five. I'm pretty sure that's some sort of record, so one of you should go ahead and alert the media. 

- Lack of recycling. I almost cried when I threw away a pop bottle today. Like, it was physically painful. And when the paper went into the same trash can as the pop bottle, food remains, and yogurt containers, I almost had a freaking heart attack.

- Obese people. Guys. America has a serious problem. I'd heard it before, but never realized how bad it was until I stepped off the plane and immediately noticed how much larger the average American is than the average German. 

- Huge parking places. Umm. I was driving my parents' Equinox today, and when I parked it and each side had tons of space, I flipped out! Parking spaces big enough for a large vehicle?? WELCOME TO AMERICA, BIATCHES!!!! 

- Tacos. Burritos. Salsa. Mexican food in general. Holy happiness. I love Amuuurica, and I love those Mexicans that make delicious food.
- People being polite. Now I'm the rude one. Bumping into people and not saying, "Excuse me." Forgetting to smile constantly. I need to go back to Europe, I guess!

- English. I hate it. I hate that no one is speaking German. I'm still prepared to speak German everywhere I go, and when it doesn't happen, it makes me sad.

- Flip Flops. Holy beach footwear, batman. These shoes are all over the place, and I guess I didn't realize that I've grown to dislike them. I don't know why, but I have. Oh, heaven help me - I'm turning German. 

- Bad drivers. Someone take me back to Germany, please. They may drive fast, but at least they know the freaking rules of the road... and what a turn signal is. I HATE Kansas drivers. Maybe it's better where you live, but here they are awful. 

- Customer service. Yes, it exists in America, and I've been without it for so long that it's started to annoy me now that I get it when I walk into a store. There must be something wrong with me. Seriously.

In other news... I made a skirt today - it took me less than an hour, and I'm in love with it. Like, really. We're going to elope next Tuesday. I can't wait to show it to you guys.

Also... We have more than 100 people signed up for Christmas in July! If you're interested and haven't signed up yet, sign up here!


Hannah said...

Oh Alxy, wenn du willst dann werde ich jetzt immer auf Deutsch kommentieren.
Ich weiß nicht ob ich Deutschland soo vermissen würde... irgendwo anders ist es glaub ich immer besser als zu Hause...
Vielleicht kommst du ja irgendwann wieder zurück.

erin e flynn said...

haha, I noticed the same things when I came back from Germany! But soon you'll be wondering if you ever actually went to Germany, or if you dreamed it all!

Katherina said...

Haha. I remembered how you also did this same kind of rant about Germany before and now you're doing exactly the same thing with America. You'll eventually get over it. :)

Whiskey Tango Foxtrot said...

Haha teach me German asap :/ I hate not knowing what anyone is saying. Theres a class soon on base I want to take though :) Oh how I miss Walmart...and Target...and mexican food. but the drivers here are SO much better and its nuts how not overweight everyone here is...loving this place so far!

Breenah said...

Too bad I took Spanish instead of German otherwise we could talk, haha! Our apartment makes us recycle so I feel the same flip out every time I go to my mom's or in-laws' house and just throw everything in one bin.

Katrin said...

Haha Alyx, Du bringst mich immer so zum Lachen! Wir können uns auch auf Deutsch unterhalten, wenn Du magst. :)
But anyways, I love this post! It is so much fun to read it!
Walmart is so weird for me. I think it is just too big. I don't feel comfortable there. I always see the fattest people at Walmart, not in other stores.
The parking places are huge! You don't need any parking skills to park there. In Europe it can be tricky.
And the flip flops! That is so weird for me! People wear them in February! Why is that?
Congratulations to your 500 followers! You rock, Alyx!!

Raych said...

If you ever get a hankering to be rude (or direct, as we call it here) you can visit me in NY. Until Nov, then I'll be back in the land of the permasmile too.

Lauren Talon said...

Congrats on reaching 500! That's awesome? Now on to something else...the US doesn't have recycling???? That's crazy! I'm not sure I could do that :S I also noticed that Germans were much smaller which is kind of crazy with all the heavy food, beer and ice cream they seem to eat. Maybe they bike/walk more?? That makes us look really bad. Welcome home though :)

Alana Christine said...

Remember when we joked about the fact that you were gonna struggle with the recycling thing when you got home? Funny! haha
You do have me on the list for Christmas in July, right?

Abbey said...

Wait, wait wait... Kansas drivers? Where in the world are you? I had Buffalo in my head, then Nebraska. Anyway. There are bad drivers everywhere in America. Promise. When I'm in Ks, they blame Missouri. When I'm in Mo, they blame Arkansas.

Amy @ My Life and Other Nonsense said...

I think your my bloggy soul mate. For real. SO hilarious and sweet!!
Even though I live in America, all of these things drive me crazy, too. It's especially bad when I visit home (Montana). No one recycles. They all shop at Wal-Mart. The drivers are down right scary. Eesh. Maybe we should move to Germany...

Unknown said...

The same thing happened to me when I came back from England. I was disgusted by American culture and a pain to get along with for a good few months. My parents almost sent me back just so they didn't have to listen to me. Awful.

I missed fresh food, public transportation, and parks. And English accents. And everything.

Unknown said...

congrats on hitting 500! thats awesome :) and yeah, i can see why america would be a slight culture shock after germany. guten tag - ich heisse elisabeth. thats about all the german i remember :) oh that and the funny story of when my friend told me to tell my TA "ich bin zu heiss" (i know its not correct grammar or meaning at all) I had no idea what i was saying and tha ta just stood there awkwardly. thought you would appreciate that :)

ps. fabulous giveaway going on if youre interested! you could in the jewelry to go with your new skirt :)

Skip to Malou said...

This is hilarious! Especially the politeness as I've had the exact same issue when going back to England/Barbados from Holland. The Dutch would hate to hear this but they sound very similar to the Germans in that respect! Enjoy the rest of your time at home! xxx

Nikkiana said...

I know how you feel about the recycling. Now that I live somewhere where it's mandatory, it feels so foreign when I go somewhere (like my parents house) where it's not.

Maria Larsen said...

So glad to hear you made it home safely! Yay for being back in America!

Unknown said...

Kansas drivers are exceptionally bad! It's crazy how many red lights they think it's ok to run!

riana. said...

Well congrats and sorry that you're home haha since you seem to be having mixed feelings. :)

Sara K said...

there's no recycling in America? seriously?

Amy Harris said...

finally, FINALLY someone who shares my dislike of flip flops. they are awful and ugly. also, super impressed with your five item walmart shopping trip... that's a rarity around these parts. AAAANND i'm excited to see your skirt!

Jennifer Salter said...

I LIVE HERE and I still get culture shock! And congrats on 500! So exciting! :)

Miki {Becoming What I Always Was} said...

WELCOME BACK! I bet is is weird. I go to Mexico for a little over a month every year, and I remember the first day is always like a fresh breath and you feel home no matter all the annoyances!

Ashley said...

I think about how obese people are every day and I haven't even left the country. Why is everyone so much bigger here?

Emily said...

I am glad to read that you are adjusting - somewhat to the culture shock. There is something to be said about reverse culture shock that really puts where you live into perspective. I suffered from this when coming home from Vietnam. I remember thinking "Why is it so effin' quiet here?" and "Where are all the people!" It's those odd things that make you miss the place you left the most.

p.s. 500 - you're amazing! I don't think my little bloggity blog will ever see that day. So I will celebrate your success with you.

p.p.s. Did you find another African Blogger - or a blogger from Africa for the xmas in July?

p.p.p.s. Did I say I'd donate to your giveway? And did I miss the deadline. I probably did. I am a sucky blogger.

megan danielle said...

customer service has kind of always annoyed me haha im not that sociable...i guess thats why

lori said...

congrats on the 500 followers, so exciting!!

our town is pretty good about recycling, but i hate it when im somewhere else and have to throw away a coke can or a water bottle.

so... have you had taco bell and a mcmuffin???

Anonymous said...

lmao you crack me up!

San said...

Hahaha... ok, that totally made me laugh! But I can relate to the so-called "reverse culture shock".... I have it when I go to Germany to visit (but of course, there is also a lot of things that I appreciate :)).
Welcome back!

Katie said...

Bahaha girl you crack me up!!

Why Girls Are Weird said...

LOL you are totally cracking me up.

And I totally know what you mean about people being obese in the US. This woman came into my restaurant today and she was not small (I mean, I'm curvy and all but this woman was LARGE). She ordered country fried steak with TWO SERVINGS of hashbrowns, extra eggs (she got 2 with her order and wanted two more) pancakes WITH chocolate chips and extra butter... and then she asked for a diet coke. WTH. For real?

Unknown said...

Hey Alyx, First I just wanted to tell you Congrats on reaching 500. That is so impressive and You Rock! Even when I don't have time to do any of my own writing I always come check out what you have to say. :)
Second, I can't even begin to imagine how difficult it must be right now to adjust to being back home and not in Germany anymore. I LOVE LOVE LOVE Germany and would happily live there forever. As awesome as our country is, I still would love to live in Germany. So I wish you luck on re-adjusting to our crazy ways here. Welcome Home! :)

his little lady said...

oh gosh, that burger cannot be real! congrats on the 500 followers!!!!!!!!
xo TJ

Kelly said...

I'm not surprised you're experiencing some sort of culture shock - Germany sounds verrrrrry different than America.
I also hateeee flip flops. :)

Unknown said...

Congrats on reaching 500 followers! That's awesome!
And all that you've said is so true about America, I guess living here for so long has made me overlook things that seem so common to us! haha! :)

daydream frenzy

Unknown said...

WHOOT 500!!! Go Alyx! :) I maintain... how you ever lived without a good taco, I'll never know!

Anonymous said...

I lol about the recycling. I'm actually kind of getting used to it, but my husband still tries to throw paper towels in the 'paper' bin and doesn't rinse out stuff before tossing it in. I don't think I've seen an obese person except on post in the months I've been here. I do miss Mexican food. I will probably be the same way about politeness/customer service when we go back.

RadiantKristen said...

The obesity thing is such a big problem. It's my soap box. I won't get into it here, because I respect your comments section.

Can't wait to see your skirt! So exciting!

Pssst... CO is way close to KS. So you need to venture over here and climb a mountain, okay? And I might invite myself along for a little blate action. We have skinny people here. But bad drivers. Very bad drivers.

Nicole said...

I choose Walmart over any store any day! There prices are always cheaper. Speaking of Walmart and obesity I saw recently in Walmart an obese man who could barley walk upset because the cart chair (you know.. the ones that move) was not working. I felt really really bad. He could barley walk. It's really sad!

Samara said...

ha ha- when I visited America my friend and I took a two hour bus ride to get to Wal Mart just cos we had to see what all the fuss was about :P

As for the recycling- you must be one of the only countries that don't do it- our recycling bins are bigger than our garbage bins (although they only get collected once a fortnight). We also have garden waste bins too. America need to hop on board!

Hope you're enjoying being back home:-)


Laura said...

was haben sie huete fur uns? I typed that German for you so you feel at home haha! Welcome back! I hate Walmart but have to go there today, I want to cry.

Courtney B said...

Welcome BACK! I seriously don't know how you made it out of walmart with 5 things. That's amazing!

Alex, Speaking Denglish said...

I always spoke German when I was home for Christmas, just saying Danke or whatever at the grocery store. You feel ridiculous. Hope you're enjoying your time home and eating tons of Tex Mex!!

Sara Louise said...

The first time my husband walked into a Walmart he was speechless! When he got back to France he told everyone about it. He's totally fascinated!
And I miss large parking spots!

Rosie said...

Congratulations on reaching the big 500!

I nearly spat out my wine when I read this...through hilarity you'll be pleased to note.

I would suggest you wear socks with your flip flops until you make the transition fully. You should also just speak German to everyone regardless of understanding! OR you could hang around the tourist hotspots of Kansas and hope you bump into some passing through.

Glad you are home safely. Have a taco for me please.

Rosie xx

Natasha Louise Taylor said...

Woooooooooooo for 500 followers, get you!! It's crazy you are home in America now, I feel like I've missed so muchhhhh!!

Unknown said...

Haha! I think the bad driver thing is happens here too...I can't stand it when people don't use their blinkers!

Anna said...

Ha, Welcome Back again! :) Congrats on the 500! That's huge!!

Unknown said...

I haven't been out of the country, but I live in Chicago, where people tend to be more active than in other parts of the country. So whenever I go to Disney World, the number of larger people really blows my mind. There are big people in Chicago, don't get me wrong, but nothing like it is when I go on vacation.

No(dot dot)el said...

I remember when I got back from Europe after have been there for only 10 days, I was like God Bless America! And I'm not your Texas gun- totting Republican voting typical American that would say that all the time, but it was just good to be back on American soil. We have a truly blessed nation who really does need to realize how good we've got it.

Kristen Victoria said...

Dying over that obese photo... LMAO! Welcome back to Amurrrrrica! I bet Utah has worse drivers than Kansas... suriously.

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