Culture Shock.

Yo! 


First of all, I want to say THANK YOU!! Thank you for reading, commenting, and just being awesome in general. I still find it hard to believe that anyone would be interested in the crap that comes out of my mouth (or my fingers, I guess... since I'm typing this), let alone 5-freaking-hundred of you!! In order to better say thank you, I will be having a couple of group giveaways over the next week, so keep your eye out for those.

Guys. I am experiencing culture shock. In my own flipping country. How does that even happen?!?! I'm not sure how I feel about it, actually. I'm just going to ramble a little bit.

- Wal-Mart. Holy balls. We went in there today, and I was just amazed. Umm. I forgot how huge that place is. And how much stuff there is. And... we managed to leave with five things. Five. I'm pretty sure that's some sort of record, so one of you should go ahead and alert the media. 

- Lack of recycling. I almost cried when I threw away a pop bottle today. Like, it was physically painful. And when the paper went into the same trash can as the pop bottle, food remains, and yogurt containers, I almost had a freaking heart attack.

- Obese people. Guys. America has a serious problem. I'd heard it before, but never realized how bad it was until I stepped off the plane and immediately noticed how much larger the average American is than the average German. 

- Huge parking places. Umm. I was driving my parents' Equinox today, and when I parked it and each side had tons of space, I flipped out! Parking spaces big enough for a large vehicle?? WELCOME TO AMERICA, BIATCHES!!!! 


- Tacos. Burritos. Salsa. Mexican food in general. Holy happiness. I love Amuuurica, and I love those Mexicans that make delicious food.

- People being polite. Now I'm the rude one. Bumping into people and not saying, "Excuse me." Forgetting to smile constantly. I need to go back to Europe, I guess!

- English. I hate it. I hate that no one is speaking German. I'm still prepared to speak German everywhere I go, and when it doesn't happen, it makes me sad.

- Flip Flops. Holy beach footwear, batman. These shoes are all over the place, and I guess I didn't realize that I've grown to dislike them. I don't know why, but I have. Oh, heaven help me - I'm turning German. 


- Bad drivers. Someone take me back to Germany, please. They may drive fast, but at least they know the freaking rules of the road... and what a turn signal is. I HATE Kansas drivers. Maybe it's better where you live, but here they are awful. 


- Customer service. Yes, it exists in America, and I've been without it for so long that it's started to annoy me now that I get it when I walk into a store. There must be something wrong with me. Seriously.

In other news... I made a skirt today - it took me less than an hour, and I'm in love with it. Like, really. We're going to elope next Tuesday. I can't wait to show it to you guys.

Also... We have more than 100 people signed up for Christmas in July! If you're interested and haven't signed up yet, sign up here!

I Miss Cheeseburgers [& Other Things]

Hola! 


I don't know if you guys know this, but I kind of love food. Like, a lot. 


You should also know that Germany has some amazing food. We're talkin' Schnitzel, Bratwurst, Döners (actually Turkish, but they are sold everywhere here, so I count it), Bratkartoffeln, Spaghetti-eis, Knödel, Haribo candy, any type of Schokolade, etc. etc. 


You should also know, though, that there are some areas where Germany just cannot compete with the good ole USofA. Food items that are just plain better in America include:

TexMex. I mean, seriously. You can't even buy tortillas and taco seasoning in a normal grocery store! And when you find tortillas - holy balls are they pricey! And dude. You don't even want to know what passes for salsa here.

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Cheeseburgers. Whether it's from McDonald's or a nicer sit-down place, America just does burgers better. Our beef is better (at least in the midwest), our burgers are juicier, and we have more options. Not to mention the fact that we eat them with our hands. Unless you're at McDonald's here in Germany, you'd better pick up a fork!

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Pizza. Again, in America... we eat this with our hands. We also understand the importance of cheese.  And that pepperoni is meat, NOT little peppers (okay, that's just a language thing). And stuffed crust. Actually, not just stuffed crust, but crust in general. Germany, have you never heard of deep-dish pizza? No? Research it. You'll thank me.

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Steak. I will say this again: beef is just better in America. I love me a good, juicy steak, and steak here is just, "meh."

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Any Fast Food Anywhere. While my waist-line is probably thankful that Germany sucks at fast food, my taste buds that occasionally crave the goodness that is Taco Bell, are not. Sure, they have McDonald's and BK, but those two places somehow manage to taste even worse than their American counterparts.

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Also.... If you're German, please tell me WHAT IS UP with finger foods with a fork thing? I mean, WHY?!


PS: Check out the latest blog design at Sara in Le Petit Village (and stay a while at her blog - it's awesome)! 

True Love is...

Seeing your wife looking like this: 

Realizing that she's crying and saying things like this:- I just wanna be a fat American! - I want a sausage McMuffin, donut, and cupcake with frosting!- I want my car!- I'm not ready to go home! - I hate Germany!- I don't want to pack my life up again! 
And then promptly grabbing the camera and getting the whole thing on video. I'd share it with you guys, but I was wearing my underwear, curled up on the bed in a ball. Maybe I can get Hubby to separate the video from the audio, and I'll share it with you guys, because it's hilarious. Sadly hilarious. Until then, here's a little gem that he took about a year ago.