Wedding Mishap of the Century

Hiii! So... I'm linking up with Recently Roached, and seeing all these crazy posts about stuff that went wrong at weddings. Well, folks. I'm gonna be the winner. I have two words for you. 
Car Wreck.
Now is the time where I follow those two words with a bunch of words that won't make sense until you read the rest of the story:

crying. wedding dress. jerkface tow truck. yelling. cops. tuxedo. pointing. cell phones. radiator. reception. fender bender. makeup. laptop. music.

Now, I don't feel like writing a novel, so I'm going to give you the quick version. Our wedding ceremony was at 2:00 p.m., and our reception was at 7:00 p.m. We took our wedding pictures right after the wedding, but since it was a thousand degrees outside, we made them as quick as possible. After the pictures were done, we were sent on our merry little way to get some 7/11 slurpies and head back to the hotel to hang out for a while. 

The clock rang 6:30, and it was time to hop into the car and make our way to our beautiful reception (that we didn't really ever see). 

I insisted on driving. In my wedding dress. I think that slurpie was spiked with a little something extra, because that was a stupid decision. Anyway, we're driving down the I-15 from Provo to American Fork, and we make it to the exit. Husband is picking wedding music, and making a playlist on his laptop.
The light is red. 
There is a car in front of me. 
.... I stopped in time. PSYCH! 
But then.... (bum, bum, bum) 
The car in front of me turned right (or so I thought). I followed him. Oops. He had slammed on his brakes for no apparent reason. I hit him going 5 mph. If even that. We got out of the car (me crying like a maniac on the side of the highway in my wedding dress, Mike being manly and authoritative in his tuxedo), and Hubby went to talk to the guy. 
We had it all figured out. The damage was almost non-existent. Insurance info had been swapped. We were getting back in the car to leave. The time is now 7:30 p.m.

But then.... (bum, bum, bum) 
Enter Jerkface. Jerkface was a tow truck driver. He threatened to call the police and tell them that it was a hit and run. He convinced the other driver to report it then instead of the next day. 

Enter police. The time is now 8:15 p.m

Jerkface lies to police and says he witnessed the accident. Crazy Maniac Zombie Bride with the Running Mascara is not okay with that. She starts yelling at Jerkface, calling him a liar, wedding ruiner, and telling him that he has ruined the most important day of her life and she hopes somebody ruins his wedding day so that he knows how it feels. Police know that this girl is crazy, and decide to feel bad for her and not give her a ticket. Police reports are filled out, and we are allowed to leave. 

But then.... (bum, bum, bum) 
Enter car trouble. The time is now 8:50 p.m. The car will not start. It becomes apparent that the headlight poked a small hole in the brand new radiator of my in-laws' van. 

Enter Father-in-law (also known as the knight in shining armor). The time is now 9:05 p.m. He helped us get the car into a safe place, and took us back to the reception. 

We arrived at 9:30 p.m. to a pitch black backyard, scarcely populated reception, and leaning wedding cake. All of my makeup was gone, and I was extremely upset. People said, "someday you'll laugh about this." I resisted the urge to punch them in the face. They were right, but that's beside the point.

As much as I wished the reception had gone differently, the important stuff was there. I got my first dance with my husband, and I got to have cake smashed in my face. And I will never forget the feeling when my husband sat me down and sang the song "Wonderful Tonight" to me (he changed the words to the last verse on a whim, and sang about getting to the reception two and a half hours late). 

Sorry for the novel. 


SDFarmWife said...

Oh Holy Buckets...what a wedding day!

Jena Roach said...

This made me want to cry for you! I'm so sorry you had to go through that. DBAG is like the understatement of the year. CAN HE NOT SEE YOURE IN A WEDDING DRESS? I mean, really.

I'm so sorry!! It made for a good story, but I'm sure you would have rather been to your reception!

Thanks for linking up! I hope post-wedding days have been DBAG free!

B said...

As a married woman, I can confidently say that someone would've died had they prevented me from getting to my reception on time.

However, I'm glad both of you were able to recover and still salvage the evening. Your wedding day is still important, no matter how many douches get in the way.

Anonymous said...

Alyx!!!!! Holy crap!!! That is so AWFUL!!! I can't believe that tow truck guy acted that way. What the heck did he have to gain from doing that?!?! I'm glad you can laugh at this now!! And the picture of the bridesmaids asleep on the table cracks me up!!! :o)

Mallory said...

That was a very eventful day, Alex! But it was beautiful and you both looked ROCKIN!

Courtney B said...

No way!! Ah! This was my biggest fear on our wedding day... that one or both of us would get in a car wreck. Crazy!
But you and your hubs are so cute :)

his little lady said...

oh my goodness, i can only imagine!! this sounds terrible! but you are lovely girl! and i'm glad that you didn't let it ruin the rest of your reception!
and so cute that he sang to you! yay!
xo TJ

Kym said...

awww. that is the saddest, sweetest wedding day story i've ever heard. it actually made me tear up while i was laughing. you poor thing.
your wedding looked beautiful and the photo of your bridesmaids passed out at the table is priceless.
this was the best-worst wedding story ever. thank you for sharing it.

lo @ crazy ever after said...

Omg. Yours is definitely the ultimate whoops. Makes my grasshopper incident seem not so crazy. Ha! Enjoyed reading your blog. Looking forward to following your blog journey. All the best!

Dorothy Explora said...

...OMG. what a freakin' DOUCHE - yes! but regardless, you still looked stunning :) what an experience. what a story! eheh.

Ashley {hudson's happenings} said...

Oh ALYX! Bless your heart! But that is one crazy wedding story for the record books! The reception was beautiful (even though you missed most of it). Sad face. :(

Glad you were both okay though...and at least the actual wedding was already over. Whew.

Anyway: You were a BEAUTIFUL bride!

Magical Daydream said...

Whaha oh no! Why do things always go wrong on important days? I was working on deadlines past week. Wednesday I needed to finish a website that contained ALL of my reflections & work etc of the past semester (This site makes the difference if I pass my semester or have to do it all over again). So I had been working for nights on this.. and on the morning of my deadline suddenly my site decided to crash.. It was unaccessible for 6 hours and I was a wreck with only 1,5 hours of sleep and in total panic.. To make the story short: Support came to the rescue and an hour before my deadline the site was working again.. But WORST FEELING EVER. But then, I almost can laugh about it already.. ;)

Alana Christine said...

So glad you can laugh about this story now! lol. And I'm glad you didn't wreck before your actual wedding!

Lacy in the Sky with Diapers said...

Oh my this made me not so upset that my wedding cake was the wrong color!! :( and it is pretty awesome that you can laugh about it!! I love you!!

Natasha Louise Taylor said...

Oh my Alyx, this is so sweet and yet so sad! Wowwwwwww..... But you know, I think it helped you realise the important of just being together right? hehee... wow what a wedding day ;)

Madeline Grace said...

I feel you deserve a do-over wedding if you wanted and I don't think anyone would ever argue with you! Hopefully you will laugh about this for years to come though and at least you have a great story to tell!

-Madeline Grace

Elisha said...

oh woow.. ;P well that'll be an interesting story to tell your kids one day.. lol (:

Unknown said...

Oh my goodness! Well, now you have a crazy wedding story... Did you ever hear the one about how the biggest recorded forest fire in Arizona history burned all around our wedding venue the weeks leading up to our wedding? And we had to move our wedding date... Have to tell you about it sometime. ;)

Kylee Noelle {the blog} said...

Ahh! I can't even imagine how awful that must have been for you! Turned out to be a good story for the blog though that's for sure :)

Jennie said...

Ahhhhahahaha I read this yesterday and I am just so sad for you! It does make a good story though. ;)

Also, YES, you were right! It IS Daybook who posted the video of herself laughing and it is also Daybook who makes 3.5 g's a month from advertisements alone. Ridiculous. Can I be that famous one day?

Marion said...

Cool wedding story. I really enjoyed reading this post. It's kinda funny and sad. But anyways, I like the men's dress shirts of the Groom.

Nikki said...

Omg - I'm literally crying at this! Wow you looked gorgeous despite it all, what a wedding day you had!

Brittany said...

OMYGOODNESS!!! That is so crazy! If that ever happened to me it would be the end of the world! I am glad that you still got your dance and song and finished the night happy.

adidas nmd said...

yeezy boost 350
pandora outlet
los angeles lakers
boston celtics jersey
moncler outlet
miami dolphins jerseys
nike air huarache
michael kors handbags
michael kors outlet
polo ralph lauren