Monday, January 9, 2012
[Please read in a creepy voice] Hello, precious... Now you know how to greet people like Gollum from Lord of the Rings. I actually am not a fan of that movie, but when Hubby tries to be creepy/weird/random, that voice usually pops out. If you don't know what I'm talking about, watch this:
Anyway, onto the main subject of my post. The evil corporate giant that we all love to hate. The store frequented by rednecks and weirdos. The store that is the main subject of this wonderful, time wasting website. The store that inspired me to write this essay (warning: contains some profanity-laced quotes and is hilarious... to me, anyway). The store that does not exist in Germany. via Yes, you read that correctly - Wal-Mart is nowhere to be found in this lovely country. At first, I loved the lack of Wally Worlds. You see, I hate that stupid store. I hate everything about it - from the oh-so-misfortunate shoppers who end up on sites like Peopleofwalmart.com to the incredibly crappy quality products sold there, I just can't stand the place. via You know what, though? I now hate the lack of Wally Worlds. I recently discovered that I actually [GASP!] love that stupid store. From trying to get kicked out (see this list) to going grocery shopping at midnight, I love the easy access and that it's open 24/7 (that's what she said...no? that one didn't work? oh well).
Here is a list of things that I cannot do here in Germany because Wal-Mart doesn't exist.
1. I can't go on midnight grocery runs. 2. I can't go buy tampons in the middle of the night so that no one I know will see me buying them. HAHAHA Bet you didn't expect me to put a picture of tampons here, did you? DID YOU?!?! 3. I can't buy groceries and craft products and sports bras at the same time. 4. I can't run into rednecks, gangstas, grandmas, and ill-dressed whack jobs all within 5 minutes of each other. 5. I can't go from racing grocery carts to racing kids' bikes to racing office chairs. 6. I can't use a grocery cart without putting a euro into a little coin slot to unlock the cart. via 7. I can't buy tons of useless $5 movies (that's probably a good thing)
I'm sure there are more things to add to that list, but I'm sure you get my point. You don't know what you've got till it's gone. And right now, I'm missing Walmart like a recovering crack whore misses her drugs. Okay, not quite that much... but you get the idea.
PS: You should go here and enter my giveaway!