Culture Shock.

Yo! 


First of all, I want to say THANK YOU!! Thank you for reading, commenting, and just being awesome in general. I still find it hard to believe that anyone would be interested in the crap that comes out of my mouth (or my fingers, I guess... since I'm typing this), let alone 5-freaking-hundred of you!! In order to better say thank you, I will be having a couple of group giveaways over the next week, so keep your eye out for those.

Guys. I am experiencing culture shock. In my own flipping country. How does that even happen?!?! I'm not sure how I feel about it, actually. I'm just going to ramble a little bit.

- Wal-Mart. Holy balls. We went in there today, and I was just amazed. Umm. I forgot how huge that place is. And how much stuff there is. And... we managed to leave with five things. Five. I'm pretty sure that's some sort of record, so one of you should go ahead and alert the media. 

- Lack of recycling. I almost cried when I threw away a pop bottle today. Like, it was physically painful. And when the paper went into the same trash can as the pop bottle, food remains, and yogurt containers, I almost had a freaking heart attack.

- Obese people. Guys. America has a serious problem. I'd heard it before, but never realized how bad it was until I stepped off the plane and immediately noticed how much larger the average American is than the average German. 

- Huge parking places. Umm. I was driving my parents' Equinox today, and when I parked it and each side had tons of space, I flipped out! Parking spaces big enough for a large vehicle?? WELCOME TO AMERICA, BIATCHES!!!! 


- Tacos. Burritos. Salsa. Mexican food in general. Holy happiness. I love Amuuurica, and I love those Mexicans that make delicious food.

- People being polite. Now I'm the rude one. Bumping into people and not saying, "Excuse me." Forgetting to smile constantly. I need to go back to Europe, I guess!

- English. I hate it. I hate that no one is speaking German. I'm still prepared to speak German everywhere I go, and when it doesn't happen, it makes me sad.

- Flip Flops. Holy beach footwear, batman. These shoes are all over the place, and I guess I didn't realize that I've grown to dislike them. I don't know why, but I have. Oh, heaven help me - I'm turning German. 


- Bad drivers. Someone take me back to Germany, please. They may drive fast, but at least they know the freaking rules of the road... and what a turn signal is. I HATE Kansas drivers. Maybe it's better where you live, but here they are awful. 


- Customer service. Yes, it exists in America, and I've been without it for so long that it's started to annoy me now that I get it when I walk into a store. There must be something wrong with me. Seriously.

In other news... I made a skirt today - it took me less than an hour, and I'm in love with it. Like, really. We're going to elope next Tuesday. I can't wait to show it to you guys.

Also... We have more than 100 people signed up for Christmas in July! If you're interested and haven't signed up yet, sign up here!

WIWW. And Stuff.

shirt: Walmart sweater: Köln belt: f21 jeans: alloy shoes: TOMS

linking up here. 

GUESS WHO'S BACK?! And... sharing outfit pictures that were taken in... October? That would be me. 

1. I'm going insane. Every time I open my mouth, some bit of random nonsense comes out. I can't even handle it. 

2. I'm contemplating stealing my parents' dog. She's super adorable, and she loves me. She is also a chair thief who chews leather bags up. 

3. I am the proud new owner of this puppy (not a real puppy... a figurative one. But I will love it and care for it like I would a new puppy, because HELLO. Have you looked at this beauty? My parents are amazing and got it for us). 

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4. From yesterday's post, #3 was the lie. I'm ashamed to admit that, yes. I had my punctuation on a random girl's tan seats. In her brand new car. And yes, I can play the piano, oboe, and flute. 

5. I dropped a shampoo bottle on my toe in the shower. Holy balls, there was so much blood. It somehow managed to slice my big toe open and take a big chunk of it off. Ouch. 

In other news... I watched The Vow on the plane ride yesterday. 

My Thoughts: 

- Holy crap, is it possible for Channing Tatum to not look sexy? 

- Ohmygosh, I'm crying my eyes out on a plane full of people. No one look, no one look, please don't look. Oh, you looked? Don't mind me, I just have... allergies? Yeah, allergies. 

- I'd punch Jeremy in the face, too. What a freakin douche. 

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- NOOOOO WHY ARE YOU BREAKING UP?!?!?! CAN'T YOU SEE THAT HE'S CRAZY ABOUT YOU? 

- I HATED the ending. So stupid. 

Overall, it was a "meh" movie. 

What's your favorite chick flick?? 

I'm Leaving, on a Jet Plane...

Guys. This is it. The day that I've been dreading/anticipating for the last 10 months. I'm currently on a plane on my way back to the good old USofA.


I'm guest posting here and here today. Check em out, yo.


I couldn't miss out on playing Two Truths and a Lie with Alana, though, so here we go:


1. I once got my punctuation (think about it - thanks, Miki, for the genius way of putting it) while on a road trip, and left the results all over a girl's brand new tan front seat.

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2. I used to play the flute, the oboe, and the piano.

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3. I have only ever broken one bone, and it was when I was jumping off the deck of my parents' house onto our trampoline.

So... which one is the lie??? Check back tomorrow.


Anywho. While I'm eating crappy in-flight food and watching not-so crappy in-flight TV, I have an awesome little post for you guys to read. Lurve you, and hopefully you'll hear from me tomorrow!! :)
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on my california trip last year we stopped at balboa island. after walking around for a while we stopped and ate some taffy. while sitting there this odd bird came in front of us and i exclaimed to beans. "beans! we really need to take a picture with this bird!" she replied with, "no... that bird is creepy!" after a few back-and-forth comments i think i finally convinced her by saying something along the lines of "jill... (you know i mean business when i use her real name) this is a life or death situation. when else are you ever going to see this bird and take a picture! it needs to happen!"

after sitting down and fake pushing her in the water it was time to take the picture. trab, naturally, was chosen to be the photographer. we were facing the sun so it was hard to keep our eyes open. i gave jill my hat and said to trab, "ok on the count of three i will open my eyes and then you will take it"

one... two... three!

i would say it was a success.

Are You a Blogging Outcast?

Happy Monday, people! 

Holy moly, guacamole!! Today is going to be the busiest day of my life. I don't plan on having any time to answer your emails or even look at my computer, so if you're expecting some sort of urgent response, you probably will not get it until tonight at like, midnight my time. Which really isn't that late if you're in the states, so you can just ignore this whole paragraph. 

Anyway. While I'm moving out of the apartment and attempting to drive 45 minutes to Frankfurt with a full-size mattress strapped onto a volkswagen golf, you are probably having a grand old time reading blogs and looking for laughs. Am I right? Psh. Of course I am, I don't even know why I asked. 

OKAY. TO THE POINT. I don't know how you've put up with me the last 2 paragraphs, because I already want to punch myself in the face. So anyway (for real this time) I have something hilarious for you today. I actually wish I could take credit, but I can't, because I'm not a thief or a plagiarist. See that totally awesome girl to your left? The awkward one? Right under the header that says, "Blog of the month?" That's Jennie. And she is freaking hilarious. I was in tears from laughing while I read this (granted, it was 4 am and I was a little loopy, but... it'll still make you chuckle, even if you're an emotionless prick). Okay, I will shut up now and let you read. You're welcome. 

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I am a blogging outcast. Stephenie Meyer could probably write a four book/five movie series on why I will never be totally accepted into the same blogosphere as Rockstar Diaries or Daybook, but I'll keep it down to twenty reasons just so your brain doesn't turn into a vegetable.

Ready, go:

1. I don't own anything from Anthropologie or J. Crew.

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2. What's worse is that I've never stepped foot in a J. Crew store in all of my days.

3. Most of my clothes are from Target. In fact I will have you know that my entire outfit today down to mahh undies is from there. Basically I recycle all money they give me ever back into their store. Also I think they should pay me for all of the advertising I give them. Seriously...it's like once a week.

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4. I have a Coach bag. Apparently this is fashion suicide or so I've heard because Coach is the "poor person's designer". Well spotted, guys. I'm poor and you're just gonna have to convince Target to pay me for my two solid years of weekly advertising or just get used to the idea that I can't afford ten kajillion dollar bags.

5. My top knots suck.

6. Wearing thrifted things kind of just grosses me out. Like I can't use toilets because people's bare butts have been on them, so yeah...... In my world I am the only person that ever uses my toilets and also no one has ever has tried on my clothes before I bought them. This rules out thrift stores based on principle alone.

7. If I had it my way, all of my clothes would be turquoise and red. What are these things called "neutrals" that you can supposedly wear with everything because I do not understand.

8. I have a personal vendetta against heels. {the shoes, not the body part}

9. I'm a Mormon and I don't have a "Believe" page linking to lds.org.

10. I sold out and wrote a sponsored post for a company this week. Apparently my dignity is worth less than $10, because that's how much they paid me to write it.

11. I don't have a husband.

12. If I did have a husband, he would not be called Husband or Hubs....probably just his real name or something.

13. I don't like Regina Spektor or Ingrid Michaelson. Please don't hate me.

14. I have better things to do than drink out of a mason jar, yo.

15. Instagram is all but a distant dream.

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16. I reject hipsters as being real people.

17. My blog has a Facebook fan page with like 14 fans. And the only updates that ever go on there are things like "Why do I even have a Facebook fan page? No one even knows." It's like an empty cave in there where all your missing socks vacation to after they disappear from your washing machine.

18. I don't take pictures of my food. I just eat it.

19. I don't have a photography business on the side.

20. And if I did have a photography business, it wouldn't be called "Jennifer Ann Photography". I just Googled that and like twelve hundred websites came up. Way to be creative, photographic visionaries.

And that, New Adventurer's, is why the blogging universe rejects me and will continue to reject me until someone takes pity and buys me an iPhone. I have no more words.

Actually, just so we're clear about the Stephenie Meyer thing, here are the four books:

1. Edward wants to drink Bella's blood and so he watches her in her room while she sleeps because he equates that with love.

2. His lips are as cold and smooth as marble. {this alone equates to like 1/3 of the book. seriously, it's like every other sentence.}

3. They don't have sex because he wants to get married at 17 years old. But really he's like 107, so it's okay.

4. They get married and have sex finally and then she gets knocked up likethat with his clearly superior vampire sperm.

5. She has a vampire baby with the stupidest name ever and then her ex-boyfriend falls in love with her infant daughter.

6. The king vampire guys decide they don't like the Cullens anymore, so they come to Washington for a huge fight and then everyone just stands around a field for like 200 pages and looks at each other angrily and talks about their feelings.

BAM. Now where's my $750,000 advance, HarperCollins?? I need a new non-Coach bag.
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See? I told you she was awesome. Now go to her blog. Because there is more funny stuff there. :)

Sunday Confessions Link Up

Howdy friends! 


It's Sunday... Which, as you know by now, means it's time for Sunday Confessions! 

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Grab a button and link on up! 


1. I hate drinking water out of glasses. I guess this makes me a water snob, but it just tastes a million times better out of a bottle. I will seriously just keep my plastic bottles and put tap water in them and drink it, but I won't drink tap water out of a glass.

2. Sometimes when I take pictures for an outfit post, I put the clothes on, take the pictures, then change right back into sweats. This is because 95% of the time, I have nothing to do on Wednesdays, so there's not any point in looking cute all day and wasting a perfectly good outfit.

3. I'm secretly freaking out about Christmas in July. What if someone gets a crappy gift? What if people don't put equal effort into their gifts? I'd feel awful, because it's my project. I'd probably blame myself and feel really guilty, because that's just not fair!

4. Five-year-old Alyx once "accidentally" let grandma's chihuahua outside in the rain and locked the door. Guys, I love dogs. I'm not a fan of yappy dogs, though, and her dog was mean... it tried to bite me all the time, and my older brother convinced me that we should lock it outside so that it would leave us alone. I'm an awful person, I know.

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5. I'm a horrible computer owner. Poor Max the Macbook has had a rough four and a half years, and I think he's going to give up on me soon. I can't blame him, though - I drop him at least once a week, and have sat on him more times than I care to count. I also poured flour on him last week and didn't even realize it. Oops. Sorry, bud. Good thing that Igor the iMac is waiting for me at home. He shouldn't die on me anytime soon (knock on wood).

I'm a Softie/Crybaby/Wimp. No, Really - I Am.

Happy Weekend!! 


Hope you guys are all doing well and having a good weekend so far! I'm scrambling like a madwoman to get the apartment spotless before our landlord comes down to check it this afternoon. 

Anyway, yesterday was my last day at school. In the first break, one of the teachers that I have worked closely with presented me with some gifts from the school. I felt really grateful that they took the time to say goodbye to me in such a kind way. I shook some hands, said goodbye, and headed to class. 

I only had one class - my 8th graders. As I walked into the classroom, I noticed the balloons - they were everywhere. Then I turned and saw the chalkboard. You guys, I almost started bawling right there.

But, oh. It gets better. That's when the music started. As I sat down, all 24 of those sweet students stood up to sing to me. Seriously - I'm tearing up just remembering. They sang this song: 

I tried to hide the tears, but it didn't really work. I gave them all permission to make fun of me - I totally deserved it. After the song was over, one of my students handed me a beautiful bouquet, card, and framed class photo. 

These kids are the ones that make the bad days worth it. These kids are one of the reasons I'm going to miss it here. I had times where I wanted to slam my head against the wall in frustration, I had times when all I wanted was to jump on the next plane to the United States, but I didn't give up, and yesterday, I was so happy that I didn't.

Favorite Things Friday.

Hola Chicas (and Chicos... if 1. that is actually a word and 2. any of you are actually reading my blog)!


Happy June!!! It's Friday (thank freaking goodness), and, of course, I have a list of some of my favorite things. Before that, though, I have some mini-announcements.

If you hadn't already noticed - I've got some pretty amazing people on my sidebar, so you may want to check them out. You'll be introduced to them throughout the month, but if you just can't wait, I suggest clickety-clicking their buttons.


Signup for Christmas in July is here. We have 80 people so far... let's spread the word and keep it growing!


So... Remember how I went on vacation forever ago and never really talked about it because 1. I didn't want you all to get sick of it and 2. I didn't want to get sick of it? Well, I remember, so I'm going to tell you my favorite things about Edinburgh (that's in Scotland, for you geographically challenged folk).

1. HARRY POTTER! Okay, so... in case you didn't know, Edinburgh is the birthplace of my homie, HP. Obviously I had to take a picture next to the glorious cafe where the magic happened.

2. The Castle. Okay, so I didn't actually go inside (we are far too cheap, plus it was closed for some reason or another), but it's beautiful on the outside. We all know that outer beauty is all that counts (if you thought I was being serious there, please punch yourself in the face... or arm, because that's less violent).

3. Jubilee Fish and Chips. I hate fish. I thought chips were potato chips (because I suck at British English and only realized that they were actually fries like, when we got to the UK). There's a little chippy in Edinburgh called Jubilee, and they make the best fish and chips ever, period. Do not argue with me. If I was willing to eat fish and like it, then they win. Which... I did, so they did. 

Also... I'm aware that this is a horrible picture - it was pitch black outside and I was in the car. That fish took up my entire lap. 


4. The city itself. Does that even count? I don't care, it's my list... I can put whatever I want in here. Anyway, I'm absolutely in love with this city and fully plan on living there someday - I promise I will.

5. The red phone booths. Yes, I realize they are everywhere in the UK. I also realize that I don't care - the ones in Edinburgh are the best, because those are the ones I'm talking about. Duh.

Before I ask my clever little question at the end of this post, I would like to make a little announcement: I'm planning on having a huge giveaway when I reach 500 followers. Apparently that may happen somewhat soonish if you guys don't randomly decide to hate me and run away. If you would like to give ANYTHING away, BIG or small, tangible or in the virtual world, PLEASE let me know by sending me an email. Prizes can be anything from ad space, to a blog design, to a shop credit, to a gift card, to a book, to whatever else your genius brain can think of. This would be awesome exposure for your shop and/or blog, plus... prizes and giveaways are fun, are they not?


That will be the first and last time I solicit you all via the blog.

So... What are some of your favorite things this week?