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Things No Mother Should Think... but I Probably (Okay, Definitely) Will. Bunnies Make Everything Better.

HI GUYS!!!! 

 First off, I just wanted to take a moment to say how thankful I am to live in such a wonderful country, and that my thoughts and prayers go out to those who lost family members and friends eleven years ago.

So... moving on! I'm just going to let the title of this post speak for itself, and let you read about Why I'm Going to be a [Kind of] Awful Mother. 

 1. Ummm, which kid is mine again? I can see it now, shortly after giving birth, my child will be taken from me and put in that nursery with the glass windows, and all those little alien babies will look the same, leading me to play a game of Where's Waldo... with my kid.
2. You are a disgusting little creature. Yes, I'm saying it - babies are gross. They poop, drink boob milk, and have the uncanny ability to aim their bodily excretions right at your eye. I don't care if it is my baby, your baby, or freakin' Heidi Klum's baby - they're all somewhat disgusting little creatures.

3. Oh, hello little alien. All newborn babies look like aliens. Don't argue, you know it's true, we just don't want to admit that our little mini-me's look like they jumped off the set of Independence Day. 

4. Holy balls, just TALK already!! Guys. I'm sure I will love listening to my someday child scream at the top of his or her lungs - I mean, who doesn't love their eardrums being blasted to pieces by high-pitched screams? But really, I'm sure there will be at least one point where I will look at my baby, get down on my knees, and beg it to talk because I "just can't take it anymore!"

5. Fine. Run around the front yard naked - I don't feel like running after you right now. Yeah, I'll be that mom. The one who has a stripper baby, the one who watches her kid run out the front door while waving a diaper over it's head while yelling, "FREEDOM!!" Only, it will be in a cute little baby voice, so it'll sound more like, "FWEEDUN!" So William Wallace.
This is probably why I don't have a child. The dude (I'm not having girls - I can feel it in my bones) would be scarred for life. Poor kid. 

 In other news... I know someone who's a really awesome mother, and has probably never thought any of those things about her child. Keep in mind, though, that her child isn't your typical kid. :)
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Hi everyone, it's Samara from over at The Secret Life of Samara.
 I have a confession to make... and it's not that I just ate a huge bowl of chocolate mousse. Cos I'm pretty excited about that. No, my confession is that I get really nervous about writing these posts. I'm never sure about what people want to read. So to save you the hassle of having to skim read, I'll just write all the interesting stuff about me in bold letters. Here goes... I live in Australia and I am married to a husband who is 6"8 (and I'm about the height of an oompa loompa). I stood on a stool to kiss him at our wedding. I don't have a pet kangaroo but I do have a rabbit called Nibbles. Alyx here - when I said she had a kid, I was obviously referring to Nibbles.
I suck at cooking but am fairly good at crafts. I refurbished our kitchen table, which I am super proud of. I love to laugh so every Saturday I post funny stuff... and Alyx always comments saying it's funny, so it must be, yeah? 
Come on over and say hi, I would love to meet you.
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Yeah, go say hi! She really does always post hilarious stuff on Saturdays, it always gives me a good laugh. 

So. Happy Tuesday, and feel free to leave some funny thoughts you've had about babies in the comments. 
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What Better Way to do a Book Review than with a Vlog? My Husband is a Poet, and he didn't Know it.

Happy Monday!! 

 I'm choosing to greet you in such a cheerful way because I'm hoping that it will make me a little more chipper as I roll out of my bed this morning, 15 minutes before I waltz out the door, still rubbing my eyes and grumbling about how I frickin' hate Mondays.

I'll let you know later if it worked.

Anyway. I don't really feel like typing, so here's a book review in vlog format.
If you don't want to watch the vlog, the book was Is Everyone Hanging out Without Me? (And Other Concerns) by Mindy Kaling.
My Grade: C+

 The bottom line: I'm generally not a fan of memoirs, but this was an okay read. I'd recommend checking it out if you're looking for a mindless, somewhat humorous book that's easy to put down when your kid starts screaming or punching his (or her) siblings.

 On another note - have any of you ever read the Miss Peregrine series?? I downloaded the first one yesterday and am looking for some opinions/ someone who will talk about it with me when I'm finished!! EDIT: I just finished the first one... someone talk about it with me!!! 

And.... just for kicks and giggles, I have something from my hunk a hunk of a hubby.

Mike: I had an assignment to write a poem based on a picture or image I saw. At the time we were in the car driving to Wichita, KS. We had gone to a KFC/ Taco Bell where I got a meal deal #4 from the Taco Bell side. A beefy five-layer burrito without sourcream, adding 'redstrips'. Comes with a medium drink and a bag of doritos. The drink cup they used was from the KFC side and had a picture of Col. Sanders. I chose to write the poem on the cup since it was the only thing I could think of. (Alyx here - it was totally my idea)
via
The Old Man: Colonel Sanders
Red, white, and no, not blue. Black.
The colors dance across not paper, not canvas, not even cloth, but across plastic.
Not flat, not rough, but round and smooth. It fits snugly in my grip and provides nourishment.
As I look down I see a face warm and bright, but formed with the colors of anger and despair.
He smiles and stares kindly, inviting you to enjoy what’s underneath.
The tie he wears is black, his shirt as white as his hair which glistens in the light.
His spectacles bright and clear create ovals around his eyes that bring them closer and into your soul.
Not penetrating, but embracing. Not forcefully, but as if he asks permission to lighten your burden.
Even now as you see him, you thirst, and long for satisfaction and know that he has it.
Not in him, but a part of him. Not through him, but in him.
Satisfaction is found and thirst sleeps.

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Sunday Confessions Link Up

Happy Sunday!!!

I don't think I will ever get over how quickly these weekends seem to fly by. There just doesn't seem to be enough time to do everything that I'd like. Do any of you feel that way, too, or is it just me?

Anyway, time to grab a button and link up for Sunday Confessions!
 
1. I made my bed yesterday for the first time in two weeks. Usually I'll straighten the blankets and sort of "make" it right before I climb in to go to sleep for the night, but I'm not counting that. This time I actually made it - pillow shams and everything. It's the little things, people!
2. I finished four books this past week. Water for Elephants, The Best of Me, True Believer, and The Lincoln Lawyer. I started Is Everyone Hanging out without Me? And Other Concerns. Out of the four I read, The Lincoln Lawyer and Water for Elephants tied for my favorite. The two Nicholas Sparks
books were kind of tied behind the other two. I do love his writing and his stories, but it's gotten to the point where I've read so many of his books that I can predict what will happen.
3. My good bloggy friend Kim and I have an idea. We are probably going to start a bloggy book club! I know that there are a few out there (if you're interested, Rosie & Kaylee both do one), but we would like to add another to the mix. I mean, what happens if you are part of a different book club and don't really want to read the book they're reading? Or there's always the chance that you won't like the book chosen for our club. Either way, it's cool to have more options, right? We're still working on the details, but we'll let you know once we've got it all figured out!

4. There is a woman at work in another department that always yells into her phone, and it drives me insane. She's halfway across the building, and I can always hear HER over everything else - the phones, the typing, people in my OWN department. Holy balls, woman!! QUIT YELLING!

5. I almost had a heart attack last night watching my Huskers. I don't know what game they were playing, but it definitely wasn't football, and it CERTAINLY wasn't NEBRASKA football. REALLY? A loss to UCLA??? Come on, guys! They're not even good (sorry if you're a UCLA fan)! At least we weren't the only upset - there were a couple others yesterday (Arkansas & Wisconsin). Good thing I have faith in my boys and know that everyone has their bad days. 

 So, what do you have to confess?
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Favorite Things Friday

HAPPY FRIDAY!!!!! 

 Thank goodness it's Friday. I can honestly say that this was the longest week ever, even if it was only a four-day work week. I can't celebrate too much, though, my department has one person work each Saturday from 8-noon, and guess whose Saturday it is tomorrow? Mine. 

 Anyway. Time for my favorites from this week!!

1. Combined cardio and weights. Guys. I am like, an exercise nerd. It's pathetic, really. If I had to choose between exercise and sleep, I'd choose exercise nine times out of ten, and I'd love every second of it. It's almost sick how much I enjoy the soreness after a hard workout, or feeling like I'm going to die while pushing myself to the next level. I could talk about it for hours, so I'll just shut up now and tell you that I'm really loving combining my cardio workout with weights.
PS This is week 5 of working out regularly!!!

2. How involved I get with fictional characters. This may be a weird favorite, but I love the way I read - I see everything as it's happening, I feel the emotions of the characters, and I imagine myself as they are. It's like an escape to an alternate reality.
3. Banana and Walnut granola. SO. FREAKING. DELICIOUS!!! And filling. And healthy. Did I mention that it's delicious?
4. Not feeling guilty for taking a couple days off from blogging this week. I didn't blog Tuesday OR yesterday, and you know what? I don't feel bad about it. Instead I spent that time working out, reading, and cuddling with Mike (wipe the disgusted look off your face - I almost never get mushy on this here blog).
5. FAMILY TIME!!!! Yep, I saved the best for last. We got to go down to Kansas and spend time with my parents and younger brother, and it was great. I love them all so much, and was glad to spend the weekend away. My parents are amazing, and I love them more than life. Mike loves them too, which is definitely awesome. None of those silly "I hate my in-laws" feelings in this house!
 I don't have photo evidence because I didn't think about it.

What are YOUR favorites from this week?? 
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WIWW. Einstein Invented the Lightbulb. Living Real Life.

Linking up here. 
top and sweater: Ross leggings: f21 shoes: Walmart necklace: gift

Happy Hump Day!!! 

So I really wanted to tell this funny story about my dad and Einstein, but he told me I'd be out of the will if I blogged about it, so that "dadism" will just have to be left out. It's too bad, really, because it's a pretty funny one. 

Anyway. 

I have to tell you guys something about blogging. It's something I'm sure you all know, but I want to take a minute to say it anyway.
I don't want you guys to leave comments telling me I'm awesome - this post is not me fishing for compliments - I don't want them. I just want you guys to know how I've been feeling lately - why my posts have been lacking in real content and feeling lately.

You see, I got caught up in it - the race for followers, wishing I took exotic trips and had lots of money to host giveaways, hosted link-ups where hundreds of people stayed up until midnight to get their link onto my blog first - I felt inadequate. I got discouraged. I began to look at my own life and think that I was boring, that the things that I do are not good enough. 
Then do you know what happened? I got a slap in the face. Mike (wonderful blogging husband that he is) could tell something was up and asked me about it. I complained to him, telling him about all those bloggers whose blogs make me feel like crap about myself, and do you know what he said (more or less)? 

Blogging isn't life. 

You see, the thing about blogging is this - we share what we think other people will like about us. We pick and choose what the rest of the world sees. 

You know what? I don't have hundreds of dollars to go travel. I don't have 5,000 followers. I don't have extra money laying around to do giveaways. I haven't come up with a genius blog-growing link-up. I also don't have a pet tiger, but if I did, I'd sing this song to it: 
In real life, though, I'm blessed. I have a loving family, I have a roof over my head, clothes on my back, a full-time job, and food to eat. I have a real life, and I'm living it. If I don't have a blog post up every day, it's not the end of the world. If someone else has better pictures, better clothes, gets to go on cool trips, or more money, good for them. 

We all have different lives and different opportunities. You know what that means, though? It means that we all have different struggles. We all feel inferior at times - it's not just me, and it's not just you. It's all of us. 

So. If you start to forget that blogging isn't life, take a step back, and go live your real life. It'll make you feel better. 
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How to Lose the Fever - Baby Fever, that is.

HAPPY HOLIDAY MONDAY!!!!! 

 I hope you're all having as fabulous a day off of work as I am! At least... I hope I'm having a fabulous day. I'm writing this ahead of time, and I'm no psychic, so who knows how my Monday is going!

Anyway. I occasionally catch the fever - you all know the one I'm talking about. BABY FEVER. It's everywhere, and I hear it's almost impossible to cure.

Lucky for you, though, I think I know someone who has found the cure, and what better day to talk about it than Labor Day? Get it? I knew you would, you all are just so smart.

Anyway, just in case you're suffering from a baby fever of 103, I'll let you read on for the cure. Just know before you start that this girl is awesome, and in case you need any more hilarity in your life, you can find her over on the sidebar under the "Blog of the Month" header.
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Hey all you beautiful people!  I am so excited to be with you today.  My name is Kristen, and I hang out over at This Radiant Life.  When Alyx first asked me about guest posting on Labor day, I knew exactly what to talk about.  You see, I have the fever, friends.  You know the one... where your eyes get glassy, your head is spinning, your stomach flip-flops, just because you see a tiny little being who can't even form a noise resembling any word in the English language. 

Yup, it's baby fever.  I have a chronic condition that I've been nursing for the last 2.5 years or so.  It's hard.  So, what better than to share with you my tips for avoiding baby fever?

Tip #1:  Avoid all cute children.  If you must be around children, make sure they're the ones that scream so loudly in the restaurant that you have to request to be moved to a different section.  Refuse to go visit your family on the grounds that their children are just too adorable.  I present to you exhibit A...
 My cousin's kid.  The cutest, funniest kid I know.  I have to avoid Southern California like the plague because of her.

Tip #2:  If you have to be around cute kids, ask their mothers about the labor and delivery of said child.  Make sure you get every last detail.  Don't let them leave out the part where they couldn't leave the hospital for a few days, because they had a hard time going poo.  Trust me, it will help.
Last, but not least, Tip #3:  Go buy a large size watermelon, and stick it under your shirt.  Carry it around for an hour, and see how it feels.  Then take a picture, and realize what a scary looking pregnant woman you would be if you were about to give birth to a watermelon.  Then cut up the watermelon, and give it to that handsome guy you just forced to take said picture.  If that doesn't cure you, I don't know what will.
And really, it was enough for us... until we'd eaten the entire watermelon, and my cousin had posted yet another awesome picture of her child.  It's a vicious cycle.

So to all you women out there who AREN'T pregnant on this lovely Labor day, I hope this post has helped you find one or two ways that you too can fight the fever.

Thank you again to Alyx for letting me litter her blog with my madness, and thank you for reading it!  To be a part of more of my crazy adventures, you can find my blog here, follow me on Twitter, or even Pinterest.  I would love to hear from you!
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Sunday Confessions Link Up

Happy Sunday!!! 

 I can't believe it's already September! If you get a second or two, take a look at the sidebar over there - I've got a brand new blog of the month, and some really amazing people hanging out for a while!

But... don't do that until you grab a button and link up with your confessions! 
 
1. I saw the movie 2016 yesterday. It was amazing, and I think that every American that is eligible to vote should see it. I'm not really a fan of political arguments, so that's all I'm going to say about that.
2. Our trip down to Kansas was awful. First the a/c on our car decided to die. We were able to recharge it, but that put us behind by an hour or so. Then, when we were in the middle of nowhere, Kansas, we started to hear this horrible sound. We pulled over to the side of the road, looked under the car, and saw that we were dragging a sheet of metal. I guess it's a heat shield or something? Anyway, we had to jack the car up, then kick the sheet of metal back up so that we could make it the rest of the way to Wichita.
By "we," I obviously mean this guy. Best husband ever. 
oh, yeah... remember that time we went to Scotland?
3. I really wish I could take a day off of work just to read. I feel like I haven't had a spare moment in the last week - I've just been so freakin' busy.

4. The fact that my baby brother is driving makes me feel old. He's supposed to be a little boy. Where the heck have the past ten years gone?
Obviously he's driving a real car, but I thought this worked.
5. I *just* found out that my parents have the same anniversary as my grandparents. I'm an awful granddaughter. Oops. Next summer will be 50 for my grandparents and 29 for my parents. Watch out, Utah - we'll be comin' for you in June (and Ali... even though you're in AZ, we'll come for you, too. Heck, Kristen, we'll make a stop in CO as well).

What do you have to confess? 
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