How to Lose the Fever - Baby Fever, that is.

HAPPY HOLIDAY MONDAY!!!!! 

I hope you're all having as fabulous a day off of work as I am! At least... I hope I'm having a fabulous day. I'm writing this ahead of time, and I'm no psychic, so who knows how my Monday is going!

Anyway. I occasionally catch the fever - you all know the one I'm talking about. BABY FEVER. It's everywhere, and I hear it's almost impossible to cure.

Lucky for you, though, I think I know someone who has found the cure, and what better day to talk about it than Labor Day? Get it? I knew you would, you all are just so smart.

Anyway, just in case you're suffering from a baby fever of 103, I'll let you read on for the cure. Just know before you start that this girl is awesome, and in case you need any more hilarity in your life, you can find her over on the sidebar under the "Blog of the Month" header.
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Hey all you beautiful people!  I am so excited to be with you today.  My name is Kristen, and I hang out over at This Radiant Life.  When Alyx first asked me about guest posting on Labor day, I knew exactly what to talk about.  You see, I have the fever, friends.  You know the one... where your eyes get glassy, your head is spinning, your stomach flip-flops, just because you see a tiny little being who can't even form a noise resembling any word in the English language. 

Yup, it's baby fever.  I have a chronic condition that I've been nursing for the last 2.5 years or so.  It's hard.  So, what better than to share with you my tips for avoiding baby fever?

Tip #1:  Avoid all cute children.  If you must be around children, make sure they're the ones that scream so loudly in the restaurant that you have to request to be moved to a different section.  Refuse to go visit your family on the grounds that their children are just too adorable.  I present to you exhibit A...
 My cousin's kid.  The cutest, funniest kid I know.  I have to avoid Southern California like the plague because of her.

Tip #2:  If you have to be around cute kids, ask their mothers about the labor and delivery of said child.  Make sure you get every last detail.  Don't let them leave out the part where they couldn't leave the hospital for a few days, because they had a hard time going poo.  Trust me, it will help.
Last, but not least, Tip #3:  Go buy a large size watermelon, and stick it under your shirt.  Carry it around for an hour, and see how it feels.  Then take a picture, and realize what a scary looking pregnant woman you would be if you were about to give birth to a watermelon.  Then cut up the watermelon, and give it to that handsome guy you just forced to take said picture.  If that doesn't cure you, I don't know what will.
And really, it was enough for us... until we'd eaten the entire watermelon, and my cousin had posted yet another awesome picture of her child.  It's a vicious cycle.

So to all you women out there who AREN'T pregnant on this lovely Labor day, I hope this post has helped you find one or two ways that you too can fight the fever.

Thank you again to Alyx for letting me litter her blog with my madness, and thank you for reading it!  To be a part of more of my crazy adventures, you can find my blog here, follow me on Twitter, or even Pinterest.  I would love to hear from you!

22 comments:

Sara Louise said...

Seeing screaming, sticky fingered children, covered in some sort of apple juice, chocolate, graham cracker coating, usually does it for me.

greyskysaturday said...

haha! This post is great! my friend told me another cure to baby fever is to get a puppy and raise it. She swears that it will work for a long while!

Jamie
greyskysaturday.wordpress.com

kaila mo said...

hahaa alyx, love the labor day joke, seriously i loled (and i hate that term, but it summe it up perfectly) so funny. and this post was hilarious as well, i love it!

amandapoverseas said...

I've yet to catch a bad case of baby fever. Having two rambunctious dogs that wake me up barking is enough for me. I just imagine a child screaming that I have to get up for. I also rather enjoy that I can leave my dogs home for a day or two and have someone drop in to clean up after them, feed them, and give them pets and some playtime. That would not work with a child. I also recommend people go to a daycare and spend time around all the age groups. Apparently people think working in one will give one baby fever (and it does seem to happen to some), but at least myself and one other girl I work with are baffled as to how that could possibly happen. I love the kids I work with, but I also love sending them home with their parents and coming home to my quiet house (well, quiet except for when the dogs are barking).

Jen said...

You have baby fever?! How's Ammon feel about that?

Kelly said...

I haven't quite caught baby fever yet. But I guess that's a good thing being very single and very far from fit to have a kid! I might have to bookmark this post in case baby fever really does set in. ;)

rooth said...

Cure for baby fever? Go to the play area of any fast food joint. Screaming children hopped up on sugar and caffeine fighting and running around and around. That usually does it for me... and fast

Andi of My Beautiful Adventures said...

Haha these are brilliant tips!

Andiepants said...

Hahaha! I just came back from a day at the beach with family and friends. And oh boy...there were kids. The cute ones that make you wanna have kids....and the ones that cry when you just look at them and the one that is only next to their mama....

oyyyy .... great way to compare the two groups and having your parents remind you they want grandkiddos....

xoxo
Andie's Traveling Pants

Brianna said...

I'm 32 and just RECENTLY caught baby fever... and it wasn't even THAT BAD till my husband and I made The Decision to try and start a family. Now it's baaaaaad. We've struggled with infertility, but that only makes the baby fever that much worse. One thing that has helped with baby fever is making a list of awesome things we want to do as a couple that would be REALLY difficult or impossible with a kiddo. After making that list, we realized there are TWO different life paths that are equally as awesome!

Natasha Louise said...

One way big cure would be too avvoid all the cute pregnant new born blogs too, but I can't do it, maybe I'll try the watermelon trick.. haha! this was too funny!

jessicaelle said...

Hahaha I've never had baby fever, but I wish I had tried a few of these on my husband because he always has it.

But it didn't matter anyways because God just hit me on the head a few times and I finally got the message.

Krysten @ Why Girls Are Weird said...

Dealing with some really bratty kids at work is all I need to erase my baby fever! Then again, I think it's their parents that are the real problem.

lori said...

haha so funny!! i have the fever... but then i remember how much i love to sleep in, enjoy date nights and last minute weekend getaways... so i think i'll wait a bit ;)

Kristina from Everything Changes said...

Oh, I just adore Kristen! =) You made a smart decision to feature her! =) And I love your whole "blog-of-the-month" idea and would love to hear more about it!

I'm usually cured of any baby fever by realizing how much of a kid my hubby still is, and how I don't want to be raising multiple children at once. ;)

Alex Butts said...

Tip #4: Come trade jobs with me where 4 out of the 5 children you take care of are throwing up.

Katie @ My Darling Days said...

BAhhaha! Isn't this the truth? Also, bratty, sassy kids. They are perfect birth control. :)

Georgina Castellucci said...

Ah I've only had baby fever once (for no reason b/c I'm not even married!)

Glad you had a great long weekend :)

his little lady said...

adding these tips to my day to day life immediately!
baby fever is in full effect!
xo TJ

Elsha Bodily said...

My fever is deadly so I will be doing every single one of these! And my first niece will be born with the month....this post couldn't of come at a better time:)

Jen @ frazzled 5 said...

Come to Atlanta, watch my 5 for a weekend and you wont want any for a LONG time:)

riana. said...

lol hilarious! my friends preggo so I'm def feeling the fever!! haha