The Top Five Questions Pregnant Women Hate

1. How are you feeling? Look, we know you're trying to be nice, but when you get asked this question by everyone you know every time you see them, it gets old. Chances are high that I'm feeling like I want to punch you for asking me how I'm feeling.

2. Are you still pregnant? Look. My due date was two days ago. We talk regularly. You're friends with me on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram. I take pictures of my food and share them on an almost daily basis... you think I'm going to forget to update the world on whether or not I've had the baby? No way, dude. I'll be instagramming myself in that sexy hospital gown with my swollen ankles and big belly at four in the morning while having a massive contraction.

3. Are you ready? Ready for what? To pop a baby out? To take care of a human for the next eighteen years? Is there such a thing as being ready? I mean, really. We all know that this first child is going to be a huge wake up call. I like to think I'm ready, but we all know there's no way anyone could possibly be 100% ready for what's about to hit me upside the head.

4. Aren't you afraid? Why do you automatically assume that? Why do people associate giving birth with fear? WHY DO YOU TELL ME THAT YOUR LABOR AND DELIVERY WERE SO AWFUL THAT YOU SCREAMED AT THE TOP OF YOUR LUNGS THE ENTIRE TIME?!? WHY? What good could possibly come of that? How about you do us both a favor and 1) skip your stupid horror stories and let me experience my own birth and 2) don't even ask this ridiculous question.

5. Did you know that ___________ makes the baby come? You know what, I've researched pretty much every "natural induction" technique there is, and nothing has worked. Therefore, I don't want to hear your "did you know that sexwalkingcastoroilspicyfoodsbouncingonabirthball makes the baby come" questions. I can answer you with a, "Yes, I've heard that that can induce labor, and believe me, I've tried..." but just know this - I'm annoyed when I give you that answer. This little terd will come when she's ready. No sooner, no later.

And now that I probably sound like a huge witch with a capital "B," I'm done. Ha, let's just blame this post on the pregnancy hormones that are making me increasingly insane and irritable.

41 comments:

Tiffany @ Austin Family Diary said...

Amen sister! Cody keeps reminding me people ask because they care...but it's getting so old. My MIL keeps calling/texting like she's worried we're going to "forget" to let her know when he's on his way...pretty sure you'll get a call lady. She just keeps telling me how anxious they are to meet Elliott...ummm hello--I'm the one carrying this kid and am super uncomfortable, you think I'm not anxious too?! Ok. I'm done venting.

Jessie said...

You just made me laugh out loud! I can relate to each and everyone one of those. I'm sure you'll have a few comments for folks' comments after the baby comes too! :)

Newest follower from Alli's blog.

Ali Mills said...

AMEN!!!!

I HATED that when I was with child hahaha I think if you weren't ready, there would be an issue.

And for the record I think you and Mike are gonna be amazing parents!!

Jennie said...

Hey I hear that sex helps induce labor.

;)

Jennie said...

Don't worry, I just keep stalking your Twitter, Insta, AND Facebook in the meantime.

Sue said...

I felt EXACTLY the same way! I'm sorry you baby doesn't want to come out yet. The night before Everly was born I broke down crying and asking Aaron why she didn't want to come out and if I was going to be a bad mom and that's why she was staying in. I swear the hormones are amped exponentially for every day you're overdue!

Niken said...

okay, i'll avoid these questions around pregnant ladies.
aww, so sorry about that. you sound so uncomfortable. hope your baby girl comes out soon so we can meet her

Greta said...

From strangers I always get, "You're really close, right?????" Which is a nice way of saying "You look huge and uncomfortable and should you really still be walking around being THAT pregnant????" UGH! And I still have two weeks til my due date! :D

sergio castaño peña said...

super sweet
congrats for being pregnant :)))

Breenah said...

I'm so thankful that the people I met while pregnant had some sense of decorum because I never really had to deal with this stuff. I hope she comes soon just so you don't have to deal with the questions any more :) And y'know, because you've waited long enough by this point!

Sarah @ Life, Love & Dinner said...

Haha I just literally laughed out loud and almost spit out my tea on the first question! I'm 21 weeks pregnant and the questions are almost as crazy as the comments. Someone told me she couldn't believe how swollen my feet were the other day. They are not swollen at all, I just have wide feet, but thanks for the rude comment! :)

lori said...

yes, yes and yes!!! i havent gotten a couple of these YET, but i am sure they are coming! so annoying.

Krysten @ Why Girls Are Weird said...

And that is why I just keep my mouth shut when it comes to asking questions like that. Because they're ANNOYING lol.

vyxen said...

Hah! Yes. Especially their personal, terrible birth stories. WHY!? Incredible.

RadiantKristen said...

I'm just going to laugh hysterically right now. My hilarious blogging Alyx is back! I've missed you :).

melanie @nowaqueen said...

True Story!

Also added to the list
"Are you sure you aren't having TWINS!" Really? really, you just said that? No, I'm not having twins, just one little human in there! THANKS for calling me fat/big/the size of a house!

Anna said...

So, what you're saying is I should become a hermit the moment I know I'm pregnant. Because I can totally see how every single one of these would drive me up the wall.
I have a suggestion for your next post- top 5 things you CAN say to a pregnant woman?

Kym said...

Oh my god, I think I've been asking how you're feeling in, like, every comment and email I sent you lately. I am so sorry. lol
xo
Kym
bitty.and.bunny

Natalie | Mrs. Janney | said...

Oh my gosh I LOVE THIS!!! You are so right. I'm still mad at my sister because yesterday after hearing we had set an induction date, she proceeded to tell me that she was induced with my nephew and how much she regrets having it done. Really?!?! What would your alternative have been? And why the crap are you telling me this? PLUS I didn't ask your opinion.

And why does everyone think they can all of a sudden start telling me to have sex with my husband? Obviously we know how to have sex (since we are having a baby). Not to mention, if I'm desperate to swallow castor oil and risk bowel issues, I'm pretty sure I've tried some a little more enjoyable. And finally, when you can barely roll out of bed to go to the bathroom, sex is kind of a cruel joke (I'm convinced that "induction" technique was thought up by a man).

Ok... Longest comment ever. Rant over. Sorry if that was all too much information.

Alana Christine said...

bahahahaha. Good to know. I'll be sure not to ask a pregnant woman any of these questions!

Deidre said...

I honestly can do the same list for being unemployed. "Have you found a job yet"? "Have you tried looking here?" "Are you still enjoying unemployment."

Actually now I feel inspired to write my own post about this :)

ifs ands Butts said...

pahahahaha oh lordy lordy, I cannot even imagine. Come on bebe!

Kelly said...

God, I can totally imagine it gets irritating to hear those questions all the time. I mean, people are just trying to be nice but seriously, it must get SO repetitive!

Zoe Byrd said...

apparently hormones also justify the truth. THis was ridiculously funny. Thanks for stopping by my site today. Best to you and I wont ask how you're feeling.

Dearest Lou said...

Haha you are so funny! I feel kinda stupid for asking if you've had the baby yet when I don't see you update for a few hours ;P I didn't even think about announcing it on any social media until everything went down so it's good to know you will keep us updated (:

xx

Leslie said...

This post made my day. HAHAHAHA!!!! All so true!!

ramsaygrace said...

hahaha! You make me laugh! These are some of the VERY SAME things I thought when I was pregnant. I also hated hearing everyone argue over whether I carrying high or low.

mckenna woolley said...

'How are you feeling' is my favorite question of pregnancy. It's usually accompanied by puppy-dog eyes and this sense of 'oh.. you poor thing, you're pregnant!' Uh.. excuse me, but I'm not deathly ill and even if I were what difference would telling someone how I'm feeling make? And if you say you're feeling great or excited.. they are in shock and don't know what to say next. It's like all they wanted was for you to explode your complaints on them and open the box for them to share how miserable they were during their pregnancy. Honestly people, whatever happened to positivity?

Delightfully Awkward Brittany said...

Not gonna lie, sometimes I skip out on blogs/etc from preggos because it's so "OMG everything is awesome, yay me and this tiny human that I haven't met yet!" But reasons like your #3 is why I still read yours :-p It's a really exciting time, I'm sure, and I'm happy when others are happy, but I appreciate you being honest and admitting that some things are a bit unsettling too!

And I hope that all these things stop being said to you and some positivity comes in instead!

Connie said...

This is exactly how I felt while passing my due date. Even my mother in law called everyday to ask if I had given birth, I sometime wanted to say "yeah I did that last week, didn't Frank call you?"

twiggy@thedirtlife said...

Holy Moly. I've been gone for too long! When did you get prego? How prego are you now?

omahgosh. omahgosh.

CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!!!!!

(tempted to ask these questions that pregnant women hate, but I'll be nice)

twiggy@thedirtlife said...

Nevermind. After reading a bit more carefully instead of FREAKING OUT, it sounds like you are 9 months. hahahahaha. Girl, good luck.

You got this. Watched a baby be born for the first time this year. It was beautiful and incredible and not gross at all. Hope that makes you feel better :)

Whiskey Tango Foxtrot said...

Ugh I HATE being asked how Im feeling like every other day. Chances are Im still exhausted and uncomfortable. Chances are you can guess exactly how I feel because Im pregnant. blahhhh it makes me so mad! lol

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