Once my water was broken, the contractions spread out to about 3 minutes apart and had intensified quite a bit. I labored on the birth ball a bit, but because of the back labor, it was not incredibly comfortable. I ended up pacing back and forth through our room, so we decided to wander through the halls. After roaming the halls for about 15 minutes, we headed back to the room so that the nurse could take my vitals and check the baby's heart rate.
Once it was determined that everything was okay, I asked if I could labor in the jacuzzi. At this point, my pain was probably about an 8 on a scale of one to ten, and it was getting harder and harder for me to breathe through them in silence. I started to moan a bit as I was breathing out, and it was surprisingly helpful. After quite a while, I had a contraction that was so painful it threw me out of my "zone" and I just looked at Mike and started to cry. I couldn't take it anymore! Luckily, my nurse had just walked into the room to check baby's heart rate, and she knew exactly what to say. She told me that I was strong and capable, to take the contractions one at a time, and to remember that every contraction I went through was one less that I would have to face in the future. I labored in the tub until the water cooled off, then it was time to be checked again.
At 11: 35 am, it was determined that I was still at a 2 and about 80% effaced. After hearing that, I wanted to break down and cry! The only plus here was that baby had finally decided to rotate a bit and was no longer completely posterior. Mike and I decided that it was time to go for another walk in the hopes that it would help get things moving. We walked the halls one more time, and standing during contractions was one of the most painful things ever. I had to get back in the tub. We went back to our room and I had Mike fill the birthing tub with warm water. I labored in the tub until about 12:55 pm when it was time for the nurse to do another cervical check (we needed to know if we were going to have to start pitocin).
When the nurse reached in to do the check, I knew that something wasn't right- the baby was posterior again (of course, I could have told you that based on the back labor). It hurt so badly, and when she told me that I was still only 2 cm dilated after 12 hours of hard labor, I lost it. At 1:05 pm, I had a major breakdown. My body was shaking from exhaustion, and I was only getting 2 minutes to rest between each contraction. My breathing was going out of whack and my relaxation techniques were going out the window. Normally people tell you that when you've reached the point where you want to give up, you're the closest to the end. I knew that wasn't true for me - my body just would not do what it needed to to get this baby out, and I was upset. I cried to Mike that I couldn't do it anymore - if they were going to give me pitocin, I was going to get an epidural, because my body had reached its limit.