I Hope I'm Just Like You

Dear Mom, 

The title of this post is for you. You're pretty much the best mom anyone could ask for, and someday I hope my little girl says the same thing about me - I hope I'm just like you. I love you! Thank you for loving me even when it was hard. Thank you for never giving up on me, thank you for teaching me, thank you for always being there. Thank you for being my mom - I'm so, so happy that my children will get to call you, "Grandma." 

Isn't she beautiful? 

All about the Panties.

Good morning and happy Friday!! What do you say we talk about that one time I dropped my underwear on a crowded bus? 

Once upon a time (you know it's gonna be good, because it starts like that), Alyx was in college. She lived in an apartment complex full of handsome young men with hot bods (I didn't know my husband yet, so it's okay to say that guys). 

psh, yeah... Channing Tatum lived there. Except not.

Alyx rode a shuttle bus to school most days because she was too cheap to pay $500 a semester for parking. Unfortunately for her, many of the hotties with bodies also rode said shuttle bus. Normally this was not a problem, but one morning it was. 

You see, Alyx had just finished her laundry and was running late. She threw her laptop and books into her backpack, and sprinted out the door. What she didn't know, however, is that a pair of pink, lacy, polka dot panties had also made their way out of the apartment. 

She made it to the bus in time, and, out of breath, took a seat behind Mr. Sexy Face. As she sat down, Mr. Sexy Face turned to her, held up the panties, and said, "Ummm. I think you dropped these." 

....At least they weren't granny panties?? 

Please note that this is my "most embarrassing moment" (at least the most embarrassing one that will find its way to the interwebs), and I'm linking up here (even though I've failed at this whole "blog every day in May" thing). 

In other news, the book for this month's Blogger Book Club is 1984 by George Orwell. Go out and get a copy from your local library and read along with us, why don't you? 

Sunday Confessions Link Up

Happy Sunday!!! 

You all know how it works. Grab a button, write some confessions, link up, and visit some other bloggers who have done the same.
  <center> <a href="http://itsalyx.com" target="_blank"><img src="http://farm8.staticflickr.com/7148/6701442513_4c7153a301.jpg" width="200" height="200" /></a></center> 1. I'm to the point of trying to force this baby out. Seriously - I'm about to start chugging castor oil like it's nobody's business, because I'm sick of waddling to get from point a to point b. I realize that I could have as long as three weeks left (oh, please, no), but still.

2. I have a stack of thank you notes that haven't been mailed out. So... if you have given me something and have not received a "thank you," it's not because I'm rude - it's because I SUCK at mailing stuff.

3. I hate bras. Who invented these things?!?! Obviously someone who never had to wear one, because they are not comfortable. Not gonna lie, that's the first thing I lose when I walk through the door after a long day at work.

4. I had a total breakdown yesterday, and I couldn't even begin to tell you what it was about. I know there was something in there about picture frames, something about me being a hoarder, then something about "letting myself go" since hitting the third trimester, maybe something about eyebrows, and, of course, probably something about food. I am one hot mess, people.

5. Stretch marks from pregnancy don't only get your boobs and your tummy. I was in for a rude awakening when I looked in the mirror today and realized that, while my boobs and stomach are pretty much in the clear, my butt and the back of my legs right under my butt are definitely not. I have been moisturizing my stomach like crazy since I was super determined not to get any, but it was all in vain, because my legs and bootay more than made up for it. So... if you're pregnant or planning on getting pregnant, moisturize everywhere, not just your belly.

What do you have to confess? 

Feet, Wedgies, and PDA

Q: What do those things have in common? 

A: They all make me uncomfortable.

No, seriously. I'll go through my list (of three, not five... OCD Alyx is going insane right now) one by one.

1. Feet. Gross. Eww. Icky. Yuck. Disgusting. I. HATE. FEET! Nasty, smelly, icky, warty feet. I realize that some people have very... not nasty feet (because there is no such thing as a person having "nice" feet). You know what, though? Keep your not nasty feet to yourself, because if you start trying to play footsy with me, I am not responsible for the black eye that will result. Not only because feet make me uncomfortable, but because you and me playing footsy is just weird.

2. Wedgies. Ouch. Yuck. No fun. ... Is anyone looking at me now, because this is really uncomfortable. No? Great... ahh, so much better - oh, hi absolutely gorgeous man who just watched me pull my underwear out of my buttcrack! Am I the only one who has had multiple moments like this in my lifetime? I mean, not so much anymore, just because I've lost all shame, but when I was in high school and college, those wedgies were like a freaking curse. And they'd always happen at the most inconvenient time. It's like my undies knew when a perfect 10 was walking by. Anyway, they're uncomfortable - having them AND picking them. And we all know you can't have your wedgie and pick it, too. Bad joke? Absolutely. Moving on.

3. PDA. Blegh. Ugh. ICK! Guys. Call me old fashioned, but there are some things that are just meant to be private. Like making out. And shoving your tongues down each other's throats. When I was a lifeguard (long, long ago), I used to tell people, "I don't swim in your bed, so don't get all frisky in my pool!" For some reason they didn't really appreciate that, but, ya know, it worked. Mostly because I am really good at making people feel uncomfortable. Just like PDA makes me uncomfortable. BOOM.

So that's it.

What makes you uncomfortable? Green beans? Fish? Sunshine? Tell the whole world, and link up with Jenni!

Psh. You KNOW I Can't do THAT!

blog every day in May, that is. Obviously I've already failed since I didn't do May 1st's writing prompt. And we all know that this baby WILL be here any day, so that's an automatic fail, too.

Oh, hey... speaking of which, does anyone want to make my blog less boring by entertaining the few people who actually read this blog? As in, does anyone want to do a guest post while I'm going through labor? It doesn't have to be baby-related (actually, people will probably love you if it's not, since I'm, ya know, gonna go a little crazy with the baby-related ish here in about 2 weeks). Email me. 

Now for the actual purpose of my post:
That's right, the challenge that I won't actually complete (and have already failed). Day two's prompt is this:

Educate us on something you know a lot about or are good at. 

People, be prepared to be shocked and amazed - I am good at rambling. It's hard to believe, I know. I mean, you'd think you didn't just read that whole long spiel up there about guest posts. 

You should hear me on the phone - I have a gift, really, I do. 

Oh, you know what else I'm good at? Reading. I love to read. What's that? You do, too? Okay, well go ahead and vote for the book for Blogger Book Club during the month of May. Please and thank you. 

What classic should we read for the May book club pick?

The Great Gatsby

The Hound of the Baskervilles

Great Expectations

1984

www.poll-maker.com

Oh, and just an FYI, Amanda is going to be helping Kim, Kaylee, and me out with book club while I go take care of this little human I've been growing for the past nine months. She's a total life-saver. Word to your mother (and your brother, every other undercover tellin' you what to say...)

Legend. [April Book Club Book Review Link Up]

Happy Tuesday!!! 

I hope you all have been enjoying some gorgeous spring weather, wherever you may be! Here in Nebraska we finally got a hint of spring and I absolutely loved it (never mind the fact that it's going to be in the 40's for the rest of the week).

Anyway. We all know why we're here - to talk books and be all nerdy. Welcome to Blogger Book Club!

In case you've forgotten, April's book was Legend by Marie Lu.

I'm not really sure where to begin with this one, so let me steal someone else's words to give you the gist of the story (thank you, GoodReads):

"What was once the western United States is now home to the Republic, a nation perpetually at war with its neighbors. Born into an elite family in one of the Republic’s wealthiest districts, fifteen-year-old June is a prodigy being groomed for success in the Republic’s highest military circles. Born into the slums, fifteen-year-old Day is the country’s most wanted criminal. But his motives may not be as malicious as they seem.

From very different worlds, June and Day have no reason to cross paths—until the day June’s brother, Metias, is murdered and Day becomes the prime suspect. Caught in the ultimate game of cat and mouse, Day is in a race for his family’s survival, while June seeks to avenge Metias’s death. But in a shocking turn of events, the two uncover the truth of what has really brought them together, and the sinister lengths their country will go to keep its secrets."

Okay, let's see here.... we all know how much I love a good dystopian novel, but this one really failed to impress me. I mean, don't get me wrong - the storyline was great, and it had a ton of potential, but here's what bothered me: 

- The voices of the characters. This story switches back and forth between the two main characters. It's great because you get each character's perspective. It's not great because, well, both characters have exactly the same voice. Day is a boy and June is a girl, but that's about the extent of their differences. The writing style doesn't change at all when the narrator does, and that really bothered me. 

- The predictability. I mean, yeah... all dystopian novels are more or less the same, but am I the only one who could map out this plot from the very beginning? 

-The stupid slang. I don't know why, but it really bothered me that Day called everyone "cousin."

Here's what I liked: 

- It was a very simple, mindless read. I picked it up and read it in an evening. While it didn't quite meet my expectations, it was nice that I didn't feel like reading it was a monumental waste of time. 

- It's considered children's fiction. At least it was put in that section in my library, and that makes me feel like I can go a little easier on it when I'm grading it. I think that, if I was a fifth grader, I would have freaking loved this book. 

The final verdict? 

C+

While it wasn't the best book I've ever read, I enjoyed it. It could have been so, so much better, but it wasn't bad. I'll probably read the sequel. 

Have you read it? What did you think? Link up your review below, and join us for a google chat Thursday night at 8:00 est (if, of course, I don't have a baby)!

Sunday Confessions Link Up

I bet you thought I forgot, didn't you?!?! 

You know what to do. Grab a button, write out some confessions, link up, and visit other bloggety bloggers who have done the same.
  <center> <a href="http://itsalyx.com" target="_blank"><img src="http://farm8.staticflickr.com/7148/6701442513_4c7153a301.jpg" width="200" height="200" /></a></center> 1. I haven't had the chance to look at the confessions from last week. Sorry, guys. I'm a slacker. I'd like to promise that I'll have more time to blog once this little girl decides to get the heck out of my belly, but we all know that that's probably a lie.

2. I am absolutely appalled at what I used to think was "good" photo editing. I found this gem in my "B&A" album on Facebook, and was shocked. Did I delete it? No. I like to see how far I've come.

3. Essential oils are the bomb-diggity. Really, though - they are. Call me a hippy, but why in the world would I put drugs into my system when I have a natural cure right in front of me?

4. I'm ready to give birth. No, really... let's do this thing! Somebody tell this baby that the world is ready for her to be in it!

5. I'm not afraid or nervous. Maybe I'm crazy, but I'm actually excited to give birth. I'm sure it won't be easy, but it's totally doable. It's what my body was made for, right? Hmm. We'll see if I tell Mike, "I'M NEVER DOING THIS AGAIN!!" in the delivery room. I'm sure I will. At least five times. And then I'll hold my cute little alien and say, "LET'S DO THIS AGAIN!" Because I'm totally sane.