Oh, How Stereotypical of Me.

(Written on September 13, 2012)
Holy balls. 

I just found out that I'm about to join the ranks of mommy bloggers everywhere. Well, in nine months, anyway. How do I feel? Well, besides the fact that I'm about to toss my cookies and have a headache that I've been nursing for the past nine hours, I feel great. Freaked out/terrified/anxious/happy/worried/any other crazy feeling that you can conjure up, but great.

Let me tell you how I found out. Really, guys. It's such a cute story. Please sense the sarcasm in my voice. I just really want this written before pregnancy brain kicks in and I'm a freakin' wreck. Ah, who are we kidding? I'm already a wreck. Last night I cried about a Facebook status (yeah, I'm that emotional). Anyway, onto the good stuff.

It's Thursday, September 13th. I come home from work with a migraine, convinced that going to the gym will somehow make it better. I go to cycling, and come home feeling approximately 50000000 times worse than I did when I left. I'm pretty much a genius.

My head is throbbing, I feel so dizzy I can barely stand, and I'm about to lose my lunch. Oh, did I mention that I'm a week late? Yeah, when it rains it frickin' pours. My gosh, I suck at staying on track. Anyway, tomorrow's a food day at work, and I want to make this totally awesome dip, but I don't have artichokes just chillin' in my cupboard. I try to get ready to go to the store, but Mike won't let me. He tells me I need to lay down.

"No way!" I shout, in between sniffles, cries and giggles (I told you I'm a wreck). "I can go, I feel fine." I stand up, run to the bathroom, and consider puking up whatever's left in my stomach.

Mike rolls his eyes, takes my grocery list, and walks out the door as I yell, "DON'T FORGET THE PREGNANCY TEST!!"

It's 8:45. I'm getting antsy. Where the heck is my husband? Doesn't he know he's holding my fate in his hands? I call him, and right as the phone starts to ring, I hear the garage door open. Good, he's home. I ask him how many tests he bought, and he tosses two to me. I debate whether or not I should take one, because my gosh, do I have to pee. I've been holding it for like, ten horribly long minutes. I've heard that the test won't show up positive if my pee is diluted.

Eh, what the heck - I'll take it. We have two, after all. I run to the bathroom, and, yes, I pee on the stick. I look at it immediately and ... HOLY FRICKIN BALLS. THAT IS A PLUS SIGN. Maybe the test is broken. Nope, there's the control line. OHMYGOSH, OHMYGOSH, OHMYGOSH (I'm crying, laughing, and hyperventilating at this point, all with my pants around my ankles while hangin' out on the toilet). I AM PREGNANT.

"MIKE!!! MIKE!!!!" He comes in, saying, "Are you joking?" Looks at the test.... gets a sort of deer in the headlights look about him, and says, "Wait... are you crying because you're happy or you're sad?" I just look at him, bawling, still muttering, "ohmygosh, ohmygosh," and shrug. I think I'm happy. No, I'm pretty sure I'm happy. I'm "positive." Haha, see what I did there? Anyway. He then goes in for the kill and says, "I don't care if you're sitting on the toilet, I'm going to hug you!"

So we hugged. And we freaked out a little bit. And there's an alien baby growing in my belly. And Zeuss tried to eat the pregnancy test, but I yelled at him. And I'm writing this two and a half hours after this all went down. And I realize it's like a novel, but hey - you didn't have to read it. Or maybe you did. I am a vicious mama bear, after all.

68 comments:

Lindsey said...

Congratulations! The time goes by so fast and so slow at the same time. Hopefully your morning sickness has subsided. Can't wait to follow you throughout your pregnancy. I have about 12 weeks to go!!!

Rima said...

hahahahah Z wanted to eat the test. such a pro.
pretty sure the little alien baby aka awesomeness will be fine.

super excited.

Sara Louise said...

I love every bit of honesty that's in this post!

Rosie said...

That's just so beautiful....I'm glad you wrote 'in the moment'..it makes it all just so vivid. I have a thing about peeing infront of anyone, but in this circumstance, I could make an exception.....wow. You and your hubby are so cool! Xx

cynthia said...

Love this.

xjustanotherteenblogger said...

I think this is my favorite post I've read yet :) I love it. Congratulations! :)

Dearest Lou said...

AH!!!!!!!!!!! Oh my gosh Alyx I'm so freaking excited for you!!!!!! :D:D:D

Elise Cooper said...

Great post, great story and now onto a 9 month adventure!

Alex Butts said...

LOVE that you wrote this immediately after and saved it for later. Such a good idea to really capture the moment and this story definitely made my smile!

Tara said...

Awwww the perfect and real story! Congratulations!!!!! I swear there is something in the blogging water ha :) Excited to follow this journey!

Tara said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Miss Fay Heather said...

This is such a great post!
Congrats :D

Tami said...

Yay!! Congratulations!! I think I remember you writing about baby fever earlier this year. I knew right then you would soon join the ranks!! :) Once you start feeling it it's almost impossible to get it out of your head. I can't wait to follow along on your pregnancy journey!

eef said...

haha I love it! =]

Zelde said...

Congratulations!!! I think you managed to actually fit most of the emotiosn that seem to be racing through you right now into your post. Very impressive ;)

amanda krystal said...

Bahaha that is a fabulous story!!!

Emily S said...

That is awesome! It's a good thing you wrote it down, because as far as pregnancy brain goes, it doesn't go away!

Kaity said...

1. CONGRATULATIONS!!!! 2. This is the best "how we found out story" ever! Lots of love to you and your growing family!

Genna said...

You are hilarious. I love this post! As weird as it sounds, I hope my husband hugs me on the toilet someday! Can't wait to follow your mommy journey :)

Laura said...

Haha! I love it! I am glad you documented it. I have forgotten a lot of things! Still excited for you!

Sarah Kate {Dixie Creek Farm} said...

Hahaha! I love your story! He hugged you on the toilet! ;o)

Azia said...

congratulations! being a mommy has been my greatest adventure thus far! (pregnacny... not so much hahaha) your story choked me up! I'm excited for future posts :)

RadiantKristen said...

You found out you were pregnant on my dad's birthday!

I love Mike's reaction... just so excited to hug you he couldn't wait!

M. said...

Ha ha ha, I love it. Glad I'm not the only one who feels like a trainwreck most of the time :)

Kim Matheson said...

Oh my goodness! :) Congratulations! So wonderful!

briannaasaro.com said...

Congrats!!! I hear you about being scared and happy and EVERYTHING all at the same time!!

Hoping for my own little miracle soon!

k8te said...

congratulations!!! how exciting! i love the zeuss tried to eat the test, my dog would totally do the same! :)

Bethany Grow said...

haha that is AWESOME!! and i'm glad you wrote it a few hours after it happened. then it will always be fresh with all the details. and pretty sure if i were crying josh would do the same thing. "you okay? or not okay? am i supposed to be happy? or am i supposed to be upset like you?"

Maggie B. said...

Yay! Congratulations! =)

Paige said...

AHHHHHHHH!!!! Congratulations!!!!!! :DDDDD

Libby's Life said...

OOOH I am so excited for you!! :) Congratulations! Being a momma is the best thing you will ever do!!

Jules McMurray said...

This is the sweetest thing I have read in a long time! Congrats to you and Mike!

Anna said...

I loved reading this, especially knowing you wrote this the day you found out! it's good you wrote it down, you'll want to remember all those crazy emotions you felt! :)

Diana, Down Home Traveler said...

Super exciting! It's nice that you wrote this just after it happened!

Evani Gatsby said...

Lol I would expect nothing less of ou in this moment, I was hoping I wouldn't hear some flowery story about how you graceful you were and poised in the moment. I'm so excited for you! Can't wait to follow you through it all, I can imagine we're in for a treat :)

riana. said...

Love it. :)

Jennie said...

Waaaait....you have sex? I am so confused.

Sarah Mc. said...

WOW, congratulations! Motherhood is such a huge adjustment. I wish I could say it's beautiful and roses all the time, but it's not. But I wouldn't trade it for the world. Welcome to the club!

Abbey Rodriguez said...

HOLY FREAKING SHITAKE BALLS! Congratulations!!! This is a great finding out you are pregnant story. I am excited for you to join the ranks of mommy blogger too. That kid is going to be AWESOME. Yay for babieees!

Katrin said...

Love your story! Your guys are awesome. Your cat too!

Krysten @ Why Girls Are Weird said...

I gotta tell you Alyx, that's a pretty great story. It's REAL and I love that.

No(dot dot)el said...

WHOO HOO!! HIP HIP HOORAY!! Alyx I am so over the top excited and happy for you. You and Mike are just going to be so amazing as parents. I can't wait to hear more and see your cute lil baby bump grow, and the whole nine yards, or should it be nine months!
SO HAPPY FOR YOU FRIEND!! Can you feel the air love and hugs. Xo
I suppose a simple congratulations would have been enough, but I get really excited when baby's are on board ... ha ha baby on board!!LOL

melanie said...

hilarious! CONGRATS! Can't wait to follow your journey!

Liz Brown said...

Dude.

This is wonderful :)

Lourdes Echagarruga said...

I cannot say it enough. I am so excited for you! This post actually made me cry!!!

Love it!

XO Lourdes

Kelly said...

Such a cute story, thanks for sharing! :) I love that Zeus tried to eat it. That is hilarious.

Alana Christine said...

YAYAYAYAYAYAYAYA! So exciting : )

Katie @ My Darling Days said...

EPPPP!! Congrats dear!!! That is so exciting and I LOVED your story. It was perfect!

kimberrleigh said...

Congrats lady!!


<3
carelessly graceful

Treasure Tromp said...

lady. LADY! you're gonna be such a wonderful mama.

Also, the toilet hug is kind of sweet :)

Punky J said...

ok. so you are going to be the coolest fucking MOM ever. that's all I have to say. +congrats.

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Emily said...

Amazing! I am so excited to read about your journey - and nice job on the pee-stick photo! But what about the taco? I am still craving one. I am totally hitting up Taco Bell this weekend.

Sarah Fontenot said...

Awesome!! Congratulations!!

Miss Rachel M. said...

Congratulations!!!!!

Georgina Castellucci said...

OMG YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I was just reading the above post and omg omg omg!!!! You're going to be the best/coolest mom EVER! Congrats :)

Niken said...

Alyx, no other words. love!
so happy for you guys

Whitney@Keeping Up with the Cyperts said...

I have no idea how I missed this post....but CONGRATULATIONS!! How exciting!! And the story is hilarious, I can't wait to keep up with your baby stories through your blogs! : )

Ashley K said...

Congratulations girl! That is quite the story defiantly a monumental moment to remember <3

Kym said...

Aw, Alyx, it's so sweet and totally awesome that you thought to write this post practically right after you found out! What good foresight you had with that. I adored reading your very real, very detailed reaction. And tell Mike I think he's sweet for hugging you on the toilet & all. I know it's totally strange, but that part melted my heart a little. :)
xoxo
Kym

Megan said...

CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!!! holy smokes! what an awesome surprise to come to your blog and find out (im a little behind on reading blogs lately after my blog move haha!!!) :) so happy for yall!

kaila mo said...

AHHHHHHH stop it, oh my gosh i am so happy for you, CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!! this story is hilarious, you are too funny! you're going to be a great momma! :)

Maša said...

oh wow, you're the 2nd of my (relatively few) favorite bloggers who announced this in the latest week or so. my first reaction? I totally wanna knit baby shoes! :D

Elsha Bodily said...

Freak yes!!!! I am so happy for you! When is your due date?

Miki said...

Awe, congrats! I loved to read this story ;). How funny, I just came across your blog and this is the first post I read ;p.

I wish you all the best of luck and hope you have a great week! ;D

Miki.

Nicole said...

Congrats!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ramsaygrace said...

You're so cute, always cracking me up with your posts. I seriously keep going back to the beginning to read more. Looking forward to seeing that sweet little one. :-)

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