Letters of a Bad Housewife.

Happy Thursday! 

The happiest thing about today is that tomorrow is Friday. Am I right, or am I right?

Dear Crockpot, 
I'm sorry I've neglected you. I'm even more sorry that you've been sitting in my sink for three days. Except I'm not sorry, because I hate doing the dishes.

Dear Sink Full of Dishes, 
Go scrub yourselves. No, really. You've been sitting there since Sunday - can't you just clean yourselves?

Dear Newspapers Scattered all over my Floor, 
How did you even get there? I sure as heck didn't put you there, did I? Or did I? Eh. Who cares?! I'll pick you up later. Like in a week.

Dear Table, 
I'm sorry I haven't wiped you down in, oh.... a month. I clean you off occasionally - does that count?

Dear Shower, 
How often are you supposed to be scrubbed? Because I've ignored you since we moved in.

Dear Television, 
I've probably been seeing too much of you lately, but I just can't help myself. Don't tell the vacuum - he'll get jealous.

Dear Shoes, 
I'm sorry I've been scattering you all over the house, miles away from your nice warm home. Maybe I'll get better, but probably not (I've had this bad habit since I could walk).

Dear Readers, 
Please tell me that I'm not the only one that could write a book full of letters like these.


32 comments:

Alana Christine said...

This might be one of my favorite posts from you. Ever. lol. Personal favorite? "Don't tell the vacuum." hehehe

Rosie said...

I would send you a photo of my place if I wasn't so embarassed! I could send all of the letters above....and then some. Xo

RadiantKristen said...

I could probably write 3 volumes worth of these. My worst offense?

...The litter box. I'm terrible about it. Worst cat mom ever.

I even have a daily shower spray that works so incredibly well... and yet I always forget to spray down the shower as I get out. Epic housekeeping fail right there.

And this is why I am dedicated to getting a cleaning service as soon as we get preggers. For real.

Genna said...

You are most definitely not. My room is trashed. I feel like it happens every fall when I get busy with school and projects. Sorta makes me feel like I'm preparing to hibernate for the winter!

Sara Louise said...

As soon as you wash the dishes, there will be more dishes to wash. As soon as you vacuum, you'll just need to vacuum again. And so it goes on and on and on...

English Anderson said...

Ha. Pretty sure I left dishes in the sink the entire time the hubby was deployed. I HATE DOING DISHES.
...dear oven. oh, you haven't been cleaned by the last two tenants, and then me? that burnt brown color looks amazing on you.
...dear buffet. every time i open a drawer/door, i get vomited on. i suppose it would help if i cleaned out all the junk i frequently stuff in you, but that would require effort and brainpower. nah.
...dear windows. i often think i need a prescription since my vision is so fuzzy when i look out of you. then i realize you're just dirty. *opens window to see better, never cleans it.*
My whole house looks like these letters. There's just more fun things to do than clean and pick up all the time. Except for the shoes. They definitely need some more love.

kayleigh maryon said...

Haha If I were to write a post like this it would say the exact same thing. The beau would also agree with that. Love it

Shauna said...

LoL. I'm with you .. Those dishes need to scrub themselves! I have the same problem with the newspaper and the newest thing out there is crock pot liners .. No more need to wash or see it in the sink for a week. Try looking for them! Happy almost Friday xx

Sarah Kate said...

Don't tell the vacuum. He'll get jealous. :o) You crack me up!

For weeks I've tried not to see all the cobwebs hanging from our TV and in the corners. Now I'm calling it Halloween decorations. :o)

Krysten @ Why Girls Are Weird said...

Um... do we live in the same house? Because I swear you just described mine...

briannaasaro.com said...

God no. I have a handful of letters I could write myself!

briannaasaro.com said...

God no. I have a handful of letters I could write myself!

Diana, Down Home Traveler said...

Definitely not. I guess I could start writing my own...

Breenah said...

I've never scrubbed our shower, but that's because the bathroom is Jarrod's duty. However, he doesn't do it nearly as often as he should.

Amanda Cobb said...

Oh man, I hear you on the dishes. It's a never-ending battle. And I'm the same way about the kitchen table, shoe scattering, etc.

Georgina Castellucci said...

Omg YES - I cannot wait for Friday! I'll be in my new place (woohooooo) - it's a long weekend, so many awesome things to look forward to!

I hope your Thursday speeds right along xo

Kym said...

That is pretty darn amusing. I've been making a concerted effort to be a little cleaner lately (it's....going...) so I can totally relate. Neat freak-iness just doesn't come naturally to me. No worries about the mess - as long as you're not brewing the plague in there, you're good :)

xo
Kym
bitty.and.bunny

Kylie said...

Definitely not. I could write these and so many more.

Eve Myers said...

Definitely not! You should see my room! It looks like a tornado went through it...no lie.

meandmr.com said...

Newest follower here! I love this post, it made me laugh a few times, thanks for sharing!
-meandmr.com

riana. said...

Lol, you're so creative and witty. love it.

Kell said...

Um.. I am convinced that there is no need to clean a shower. Doesn't it get cleaned pretty much every time someone takes a shower? Of course.
Obviously I'd be a lazy housewife.
Cleaning is boring. And no fun.

Whitney said...

Oh, I totally do all of these! I hate dishes. I have at least two pans that have been sitting in the sink for, oh say, 2 weeks. YIKES. (Hey, give me some credit: at least they aren't moldy!)

amanda krystal said...

seriously. this is my life. its totally normal. :)

Natasha Louise said...

haha ALyx! You make my life, you're just so real. I'm the opposite, but apparantly people say I'm a bit OCD sometimes, teach me how to relax haha!

Kassi Mortensen said...

Haha yep! I tend to just take my shoes off wherever I am at the time... once a week I go around and gather them all back up for the closet. :)

rooth said...

Nope you aren't. Except I'm too lazy to even write those letters :)

Mikelle Jade {The Honeypie Archives} said...

haha the shoes... sounds like my house, and then of COURSE everytime I'm leaving to go somewhere I can't even find one pair!

lori said...

i could write a similar book, for sure.

as far as the crock pot... you NEED to get some of the liners... i think they're by reynolds. its just like a plastic bag you put in the crock pot... and you throw it away when you're done- NO MESS to clean up!

Lourdes Echagarruga said...

...and my dishwasher literally saves my life everyday! I do not know what I am going to do without one!

Cocalores said...

Well, generally I have to agree with most of these letters ;-) But this week we were in a cleaning frenzy (I don't even know why) and our home is kind of okay-looking for now. But just wait until Friday!;-)

Courtney B said...

Have you seen the slow cooker bags? Changed my world! I will not use the crock pot without them! When you're finished cooking dinner you just take the bag out and toss it! No more soaking for hours on end and then scrubbing til your arm is going to fall off :)