I had it all written out, and I was bawling as I wrote it, because I am so frustrated. As soon as I was done writing, though, I felt so much better, and I was just fine with hitting the delete button.
I sometimes wish that I had a best friend here. Someone that I could invite over for hot cocoa and a night of chit chat mixed with comfortable silence. I don't, though, and sometimes I feel really alone because of that.
I just realized that I'm not alone. I have you. And this is what I look like now, sitting here with my hot cocoa, ready for our chat.
And here's what I'll tell you:
I'm upset for lots of reasons. I finally had the energy to go to the gym, but things didn't work out. I'm sick of craving sugar all the time when I rarely ate it before I was pregnant. I hate these extreme mood swings and I hate these migraines.
I feel guilty for complaining about being pregnant, because I know how many people would love to be in my shoes. I love the fact that I'm going to have a baby, but I hate the fact that I'm the heaviest I've ever been, I have no energy, and I'm a crazy lady - happy one minute, bawling the next.
I'm worried about life. Where I'm going, what I'm doing, bills, and becoming a mom.
I miss being myself. I'm not me - I'm me with a parasite inside of me that changes my moods, my favorite foods, and makes me feel ugly all the time.
I miss my best friend. I don't have a best friend in Lincoln anymore (Mike doesn't count), and I miss it - I miss it a lot.
I wish I had more time. I haven't had the chance to do any blog reading this week, and I feel like such a bad blog friend. I hope you can forgive me.
I'm being a conversation hog. Don't you have anything to say?