Sometimes.

Sometimes... 

I get frustrated with that beautiful, squishy baby of mine. Whether it's when she's constantly whining, throwing her food all over my nice, clean outfit, or taking sips of milk only to spit them all over herself, I get frustrated. I tell her to "JUST STOP!" in a slightly louder than usual voice. I like to think I'm not the only mom who has done this, but sometimes... 

I wonder. I wonder if I AM the only one, because no one ever talks about this part of being a mother. They only talk about the lovey dovey things, the things that perfect moms do. Sometimes... 

I wish we could all be real. I wish that, instead of sharing how awesome we all are, we could share how human we all are. We could share that sometimes... 

We snap at other people. Not just our kids or our husbands, either. We all have bad days, we all have those times where we wish we could just hide under the covers all day while someone else took over our responsibilities. If we could all just cut the crap and be real with each other, we would know that sometimes...

(okay, 99% of the time) my house is an absolute disaster. There are laundry piles on the couch, toys strewn throughout the house, piles of dishes in the sink, cereal on the kitchen floor, and unmade beds. I'm not a dirty person, I promise. It's just that sometimes... 

I get overwhelmed. I go to work, I come home, I take care of Elsie and play with her, I wash and fold the laundry, I do a couple dishes, and then Mike gets home. The house looks like an absolute disaster when, in reality, I feel like I've accomplished so much. If I have, though, why is it so difficult for me to see the results of my hard work? Instead of seeing the piles of clean, folded laundry (that were once piles of dirty laundry), I see clutter. I see a mess. I see myself, failing as a wife and mother because the house isn't spotless and dinner isn't cooked and on a perfectly set table. I think that sometimes.... 

We are our own worst critics. I don't know how other people see me, but I like to think that maybe they don't judge me as harshly as I judge myself. How many of us have this problem? How many of us beat ourselves up day after day, thinking that we aren't _____________ enough? Probably a lot of us. Maybe even all of us.

18 comments:

Jen said...

I'm there. I'm literally with you in every statement and find myself telling my little ones to just stop. Whether it be whining, crying, throwing food, stomping...

And I've noticed no one talks about it because there are a lot of moms out there that judge you for how you speak to/discipline your children. So no one wants to say that they've yelled, spoken loudly, put their kid in time out for the sheer fear of mom backlash...

Good luck! But know, I'll be "just stop"ing at my house too.

Jen

Lifewithasideoflove.blogspot.com

Miki {Becoming What I Always Was} said...

Everyone has those days. There are some days that I can't even deal with my frustrations, which may be my husband, my parents, my dogs, my job... there are so many frustrations, but sometimes I opt to go to be at 9pm, because I NEED to. It's time for me the relax. Sometimes I shut the bedroom door and lock my husband and dogs out because I need time to be alone. We all have those days, you're right, that is what makes us human. We are our own worst critic and I'm sure Mike and Elsie have bad days too, so they understand.

Kaity B. said...

Girl. My house is always a wreck. And I don't even have a baby to take care of! I am a hot mess 99.9% of the time.

Unknown said...

The judgement. Oh my heavens above, the judgement. I can't handle it. Life is not unicorns and lollipops 100% of the time. Shit gets real, and it gets real fast.

You are not alone, lady. You are human, you're doing your very (wonderful) best, and you are not alone. <3

(I want to see fewer perfect nursery, spotlessly clean blouses (despite nursing and solid food feeding), and tranquility mommy blogs and more "hey! I showered today!" posts. Because holy moly do I feel like I'm the only one, sometimes. ...who experiences stress/anxiety/etc., not who writes about showering, because I don't. Write about it. I shower. HONEST! ...clearly I did not have enough coffee yet today.... ;) )

Kym said...

Johnny & I *literally* just had a conversation about this, like, 3 minutes ago. We talked about that Dove video with the experiment where strangers gave a police sketch artist descriptions of people that were more accurate (and flattering) than the descriptions the people gave of themselves. It's just a great reminder to stop judging ourselves so harshly because we're the only ones who really do! You are an amazing mom, a fantastic wife, and a super chick all around (not to mention a totally fun blogger and completely sweet friend :) Who has a kinda messy house ;)
xo
Kym
bitty.and.bunny


Susie said...

You're going to be okay, hun!! Honest. I'm sure your house looks better than many others, and my own. Life isn't a magazine. A lot of people have gone through this. Just sounds like a bad day to me... hug that baby of yours, hug your hubby, and take a breather. Get your husband to clean the house and go get yourself a massage! :)

lori said...

we ALL understand. i literally pray for patience every single day. carter pulls my hair ALL the time and finds it hilarious. and lately he refuses to eat... and turns his head back and forth violently. he fights naps so hard during the day. and i get frustrated.

and then he smiles a gummy smile at me or hugs me tight and it all disappears and i don't even know how i let myself get so annoyed with that sweet face. being a mom is hard. you're in good company.

Kari said...

I totally believe that we are our own worst critics. I'm always so understanding of others, but often don't show myself the same compassion. You're not alone! I don't have kids yet, but I really like how you're keeping it real. I know that things can't be rosy all the time with a little tyke following you around:) Hang in there and know that YOU ARE AWESOME!

Why Girls Are Weird said...

Seriously I'd much rather read your real words, even if it isn't all perfection, than someone's fake ones.

RadiantKristen said...

My apartment is the very definition of utter filth right now. Truly. You can only do so much in one day... how in the world is the house ever expected to become fully cleaned?

Genna said...

I so wish people were more real about things. I'd much rather read the real things than a sponsored post or some other fluffy happy thing (but it's totally okay to be real and be happy too). Life can be messy and frustrating and overwhelming all at once but no one ever talks about that part.

rooth said...

I am definitely my harshest critic. And life is definitely not perfect. More often than not, my hair is wild, my clothes are covered with horse poop, and my patience has run thin. I wish it wasn't that way... but not really because it's so much more fun when things are going crazy. Here's to our crazy lives and enjoying every second of it

Sarah Shumate said...

I may not be able to relate to the stresses of being a new mom, but I definitely understand what it's like to be your own worst critic. I'm working really hard on fixing that. Give yourself some credit - you're doing so much, and you're doing it all extremely WELL!

Tiffany @ Austin Family Diary said...

You are speaking to the choir. It's so hard being a full time mom, full time wife, full time house cleaner, full time food preparer. Something's gotta give and it's usually the house. Then it's the dinner prep. Every time.

Sara Louise said...

Alyx, you ARE enough xo

Sara Louise said...

Alyx, you ARE enough xo

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