Wedgies = Weapons of Mass Destruction

UGH. Today. Let me start with where it all went wrong. Side note: Nikki, if you're reading this, HI! I can't reply to your comments and I feel bad about that! :)

The moment my alarm went off at 7:45 am (yes, my kids sleep in past 8:00... sleep training works, people).

I got up, got myself ready, and then went in to wake up my sleeping monster devil child daughter. At first, it was great - she got out of bed, happy to be starting her day. She was pumped and excited for school. But then I did a horrible, terrible, no good, very bad thing.

I made her put on pants. 
It started with a whine, "But mom, there's wedgies in my pants!!"

Fine. I did what any loving mother would do - I picked my kid's underwear out of her butt.

"THERE'S STILL WEDGIES!!! I HATE THESE PANTS!!! STUPID PANTS!!!" as she rips them off and throws them against the wall. 
Okay, okay - so I got her another pair of pants, and it was like the freakin' twilight zone as she started screaming AGAIN.


I sighed, trying to keep my patience, and through gritted teeth in a not very nice voice, "It's not the pants, let's try a different pair of underwear, okay, sweetie?" In my mind I was thinking, Ohmyfreakinggosh I am going to kill someone. I wish I drank wine. Why are three-year-olds so damn crazy?!

We got her some new underwear and put her pants back on. Nope. Not happening. This time the screaming reached levels of epic proportions. Poor Callum was just sitting there watching everything go down, no doubt thinking, Women are psycho. Girls are psycho. I'm moving out as soon as I can wipe my own butt.

By this point, Elsie was lying on the floor of the bathroom, butt-naked, screaming something along the lines of "I JUST HATE WEDGIES, THEY ARE LITTLE MONSTERS IN MY UNDERWEAR MAKING MY BUTT ALL ITCHY. WEDGIES ARE SO DUMB, MY PANTS HAVE SO MANY WEDGIES! I DON'T WANT TO GO TO SCHOOL!!!"

I did what any mom would do at that point and stormed downstairs, got one of her Christmas presents, and threw it away (AKA the trunk of the car, not to be seen again until her birthday), all the while noting my every move in a very loud, "I just escaped from the psych ward" voice.

Let's just say that that certainly didn't help matters and, to put it nicely, s*** hit the fan and my kid went crazy. She proceeded to teepee the bathroom, throw all her clothes, and shriek like a banshee the whole time. That takes talent and dedication, you know.

Eventually everything got straightened out, my kid settled on a swimsuit for her day's wardrobe, and I decided two kids is more than enough.
Moral of the story: Wedgies ruin EVERYTHING.


Nikki Prša - Speak at Home Tonight said...

Hi!!!! :) I think I fixed it?!! Hopefully I'm no longer a no-reply blogger! <3

aki! said...

I feel like as a kid, I have never had this problem... Or have heard of anyone with this problem.

7% Solution

rooth said...

"I hate EVERYTHING and all my clothes are GROSS" - darling I can relate. You poor things (both of you)

Unknown said...

adidas nmd r1
rolex replica
baltimore ravens jerseys
golden state warriors jerseys
packers jerseys
michael kors outlet online
armani exchange
hugo boss sale
fitflops sale clearance
49ers jersey

adidas nmd said...

gucci outlet
michael kors outlet
ugg outlet
ralph lauren
ugg outlet
cleveland cavaliers jersey
true religion jeans
michael kors outlet
michael kors outlet

Unknown said...

michael kors
vikings jerseys
michael kors bags
rolex replica watches
cheap ugg boots
michael kors outlet online
mbt shoes clearance outlet
polo ralph lauren
new balance sneakers

1111141414 said...

tom ford glasses
kobe 11
nike lebron 14
adidas nmd
kobe bryant shoes
jordans for cheap
basketball shoes
air max
pandora bracelet
longchamp le pliage

Unknown said...

yeezy boost 350 v2
links of london sale
adidas nmd
hogan outlet
golden goose
adidas tubular
louboutin shoes
jordan shoes
lebron james shoes

raybanoutlet001 said...

longchamp outlet
coach outlet
cheap basketball shoes
coach outlet store online
yeezy boost 350 white
snapbacks wholesale
michael kors handbags
ugg outlet
eagles jerseys
ugg outlet

Unknown said...

golden goose
lacoste outlet
air max 90
nike air zoom
adidas tubular UK
curry 3
air jordan
prada eyeglasses
michael kors
longchamp bags

raybanoutlet001 said...

nike outlet
uggs outlet
skechers outlet
browns jerseys
coach outlet
kate spade handbags
carolina jerseys
cheap ray bans
michael kors handbags
pandora outlet

adidas nmd said...

cheap oakley sunglasses
instyler max 2
coach outlet
coach outlet store online
cincinnati bengals jerseys
minnesota vikings jerseys
air jordan 4
coach outlet
los angeles lakers jerseys
pandora jewelry

jjjjjjjjjjjjj said...

yeezy boost
reebok shoes
links of london
jordan 12
michael kors factory outlet
kobe 11
pandora jewelry
moncler jackets

raybanoutlet001 said...

ralph lauren uk
oklahoma city thunder jerseys
nike air huarache
oakley sunglasses
oakley sunglasses
prada shoes
green bay packers jerseys
coach factory outlet
canada goose jackets
ralph lauren outlet

Unknown said...

Thank you very much for sharing this very useful information, I am very happy to have found this information that I have been looking for.get more information

Unknown said...

oakley sunglasses
canada goose outlet
air jordan shoes
swarovski outlet
michael kors outlet
lakers jerseys
jerseys from china
polo shirts
uggs outlet
pandora charms

Unknown said...

michael kors outlet
asics kayno
adidas yeezy
kobe byrant shoes
yeezy 500
hermes online shop
red bottoms
supreme hoodie
adidas ultra

Bilibili said...

Kyrie Irving Shoes
Red Bottom Shoes For Women
Pandora Jewelry Official Site
Yeezy boost 350 v2
Jordan Retro 11
Kyrie Irving Shoes
Jordan 4
Nike Air Max 270
Jordan 11
Air Jordan 9

yanmaneee said...

kobe sneakers
off white hoodie
michael kors handbags outlet
hermes online shop
cheap jordans
lebron 16
off white hoodie
yeezy boost 500

Anonymous said...


It is a very hard situation when playing the lottery and never won, or keep winning low fund not up to 100 bucks, i have been a victim of such a tough life, the biggest fund i have ever won was 100 bucks, and i have been playing lottery for almost 12 years now, things suddenly change the moment i came across a secret online, a testimony of a spell caster called dr emu, who help people in any type of lottery numbers, i was not easily convinced, but i decided to give try, now i am a proud lottery winner with the help of dr emu, i won $1,000.0000.00 and i am making this known to every one out there who have been trying all day to win the lottery, believe me this is the only way to win the lottery.

Contact him on email
What's app +2347012841542


Anonymous said...

a knockout post u9n67t0c02 replica louis vuitton handbags replica bags from korea replica kipling bags fake gucci u8m50i6c04 replica bags prada replica evening bags replica hermes bag r0g72r2v51 7a replica bags philippines