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While the baby is being cleaned up on the table next to you, and the pain is gone and replaced with utter joy, you're suddenly very aware that you're naked and spread-eagled. And the dr is still there, helping you deliver the afterbirth (don't let them yank it out). Then after that is done, they survey the damage done by the birth. In my case that meant stitching up the cut they made to open up the area between the vaginal wall and the perineum (skin between your butt and vajajay). Because it was turning into an emergency, the dr had to cut me- to make it so she could actually REACH in there and cut the cord from around my son's neck, in order to free him to be able to come out (he was tethered by it wrapped around his neck, and every contraction was strangling him. lovely, huh?)...even if you're not cut (called an episiotomy) you might....ahem....tear. There are degree of tears- some don't need stitches, some do. My cut needed stitched, so after the birth I spent another 20 minutes or so exposed and spread, being cleaned up and stitched. But I didn't care, because my son was having trouble breathing (fluid in the lungs- ordinarily the pressure of the birth canal helps to squeeze the amniotic fluid from baby's lungs- because he had the cord around his neck that didn't happen, so the nurse was suctioning him out hoping to get him breathing better. His oxygen saturation was good, but he was laboring to breathe a *tiny* bit more than they like, so they whisked him away to the NICU- so whether or not your baby is struggling or you get to sit there snuggling them, you won't really care that you're exposed and a bunch of people in the room. <br /><br />I was self-conscious during my first attempt at breastfeeding. It was in his NICU room,and there were tons of people in the room again- a NICU nurse, the lactation coach, my mom, husband, and I think a second NICU nurse. I was trying to arrange myself so I wasn't exposed, and the lactation coach teased me with "after what you've just been through you're getting shy now?" I wasn't able to hide my chest enough AND successfully get baby to try to latch, so I finally just had to stop worrying about it and let the whole boob hang out. It worked though and we got nursing going and it was great. So glad I decided to nurse, it's wonderful (and sometimes painful). <br />So there ya have it. I've probably scared you all off even more :)Lorihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04841435879270456689noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3471736418049244113.post-20946054323413690412013-01-21T11:45:04.415-06:002013-01-21T11:45:04.415-06:00(alyx- I mainly wrote this as an informative piece...(alyx- I mainly wrote this as an informative piece for you- since you mentioned you were surprised by certain things I was hoping to be able to give you a heads up on the nitty gritty, and tried to remember everything I could- so you can delete the comment if it doesn't fit, just as long as you hopefully find it helpful :)<br />Alyx is right, it's not all <br />glamourous- but some of you commenters are being so ridiculous! <br />Pregnancy is also wonderful and amazing and a MIRACLE! You get to feel this tiny life inside you moving. You come to look forward to your baby's "awake times" and delight in every kick you feel. You get constant entertainment putting your cellphone on your belly, and watch the baby kick it off.<br /><br />Exams, although awkward, are not as often as you think. I had a vaginal ultrasound (you basically insert a giant dildo-shaped ultrasound wand into your hoohaa) at 10 weeks, then had my dr. check for dilation at 36 weeks- and yes, that involves your dr sticking two fingers into you and measuring how open your cervix is. For me, it HURT. bad. If you're close to your due date you'll likely have weekly checks, starting at 36 weeks (I went into labor early at 37.5 weeks so only had the one check, at which I was already 4 cm dilated)Then of course during labor you've had at least a nurse and the Dr up in there (or in my case two nurses inserting an electrode up into me and into my son's skull because his heart rate was dropping), but you're in labor and you don't care and you finally relent and just pull the sheet off and let it all hang out, with 5 people in the room, including your mom and husband. <br />Oh, and if you want an epidural, you WILL be catheterized. This means they'll insert a tube into your pee-hole (urethra) because epidurals can cause loss of bladder control.<br />But it is ALL worth it, and SO not a big deal. My biggest fear near the end of my pregnancy was that I was going to poop while trying to push the baby out. (I didn't, but some do). While pushing, I remembered that fear of mine, and I felt so ridiculous for ever worrying about it- it's hard to explain, but in that moment I KNEW that I didn't care, even if I did poop all over the place. I wanted my baby out, fast (he had the cord wrapped twice around his neck, was being strangled with every contraction, and was stuck in my pelvis for a while, so it was kind of becoming an emergency). Fortunately all turned out ok but he did have to be observed in the NICU for 4 days. <br />Lorihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04841435879270456689noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3471736418049244113.post-36235866346580338922013-01-15T07:37:02.066-06:002013-01-15T07:37:02.066-06:00You've just made me want to stay on birth cont...You've just made me want to stay on birth control longer :) TUMS are not candy!! You may pop them like candy but apparently there is a max per day you are supposed to have. And I've heard from all my Mommy friends that if you have heart burn it is because your babe will have TONS of hair! Good news!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3471736418049244113.post-64865276245217232182013-01-14T11:57:46.276-06:002013-01-14T11:57:46.276-06:00hahahahaha honest to NO fault, you are awesome. At...hahahahaha honest to NO fault, you are awesome. At least I know what I'm in for someday?Alex, Speaking Denglishhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04637020099477925075noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3471736418049244113.post-47861273666201061972013-01-14T09:10:23.366-06:002013-01-14T09:10:23.366-06:00Did NOT know that about your mouth and scratching....Did NOT know that about your mouth and scratching. Moms sure are braveroothhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09670446457829193892noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3471736418049244113.post-15043745901564513802013-01-13T21:31:59.247-06:002013-01-13T21:31:59.247-06:00I truly believe that every women needs to be well ...I truly believe that every women needs to be well informed about that vaginal ultrasound. Like really, it would have been nice to at least expect it. I had a friend who waited till about 15 weeks to make sure she avoided it (I have never heard of getting one at 20! Oi!).Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10281467789644588528noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3471736418049244113.post-7229659809501583602013-01-13T14:19:20.527-06:002013-01-13T14:19:20.527-06:00Yup. Nodding my head in agreement. I think they do...Yup. Nodding my head in agreement. I think they don't tell you these things, because they're afraid you won't get pregnant, if you knew them!Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06644197778332602406noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3471736418049244113.post-45300775663282925232013-01-13T01:14:58.519-06:002013-01-13T01:14:58.519-06:00Adoption and surrogacy are sound better and better...Adoption and surrogacy are sound better and better!<br />But seriously, I love these posts, it's about time somebody told the truth. I'm going to remember these for when it's my time to turn into a monkey :)Sara Louisehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06058056977783867772noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3471736418049244113.post-38129992408398027682013-01-13T00:24:12.921-06:002013-01-13T00:24:12.921-06:00I never considered the scratching all the time, bu...I never considered the scratching all the time, but it totally makes sense as both boobs and belly grow and need more skin, just like scars itch when they're healing...It makes so much sense! <br /><br />I don't think i've ever eaten a tums...Deidrehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14993934232617420348noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3471736418049244113.post-81477074099622784022013-01-12T22:58:50.334-06:002013-01-12T22:58:50.334-06:00Hahaha I am SO glad to finally find someone else t...Hahaha I am SO glad to finally find someone else that treats Tums like they are candy! Every time I say they taste good, I get crazy looks from everyone! Hope you are having a great weekend Alyx!Whitney Cyperthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11476336399870627426noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3471736418049244113.post-68574832133476595212013-01-12T19:31:38.994-06:002013-01-12T19:31:38.994-06:00oh pregnancy.... thankfully my hair actually was t...oh pregnancy.... thankfully my hair actually was thinner during pregnancy but that was pretty much the only good thing. i basically hated all 9 months of my life, ha! love your post though! so funny and accurate! hope you are having a good pregnancy and enjoying this time as much as you can :) Meganhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03446417961676422054noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3471736418049244113.post-5160811875825546752013-01-12T15:59:09.781-06:002013-01-12T15:59:09.781-06:00So... you're making me never want to get pregn...So... you're making me never want to get pregnant. Just sayin'.Why Girls Are Weirdhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10206388129869459115noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3471736418049244113.post-16907048882480782672013-01-12T12:26:10.125-06:002013-01-12T12:26:10.125-06:00Ohhhhh wooow. It just gets better and better. O_...Ohhhhh wooow. It just gets better and better. O_o<br /><br />I have yet to go to a gyno. Ever.<br /><br />I KNOW!Vapid Vixenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08699876620805731017noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3471736418049244113.post-43314579193684202892013-01-11T17:09:31.961-06:002013-01-11T17:09:31.961-06:00Oh man, there's nothing I hated more than bein...Oh man, there's nothing I hated more than being examined. It's so awkward, I tried to never make eye contact during, because it was just so weird haha. Worst part was being in labor with my youngest and in walks one of the nurses who was this girl from high school I didn't like. I'm furiously trying to throw a sheet over myself and the docs like, what are you doing?! Push!! ;) Mia @ The Chronicles of Chaoshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08982605259699460062noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3471736418049244113.post-82752473427226354412013-01-11T13:24:36.628-06:002013-01-11T13:24:36.628-06:00Can I just say I'm pretty anti-children - very...Can I just say I'm pretty anti-children - very content not having responsibility or anything like that. Not even really a fan of kids. BUT you and one of my really good friends are making me reconsider my views on kids! I love your honesty on everything, it makes me crack up!<br /><br />Seriously though, you should post your registry link/send me your address... you may get some special fun baby/Momma things :)<br /><br />Oh, and I totally eat Tums like candy now. Probably not healthy/safe... but whatever!<br /><br /><3<br /><a href="http://www.carelesslygraceful.com/" rel="nofollow">carelessly graceful</a>kimberrleighhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13995388220304655071noreply@blogger.com